ON THAT NOTE
Suresh Menon is a writer based in India. In his youth he set out to change the world but later decided to leave it as it is
We need superheroes to fix our building, not distant galaxies and life, says our columnist Suresh Menon.
When I watched The Avengers: Infinity War, I came away with the thought that superheroes are running out of back stories, front stories, side stories, and stories in general. I imagined Thor meeting Iron Man over a glass of orange juice and wondering if they could meet some new friends.
The question has been exercising fans around the world. There are two ways to go. New friends, and The Great Integration that brings together the Marvel World, the DC World, the Harry Potter World, the world of Stand Ups and other worlds. This will feature Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Batman, Superman, Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, Five Find Outers and a Dog and the Secret Seven. Harry Potter too, Scooby Doo and Seinfeld. I suspect we are running out of original superheroes who do original things. Ironman is fine, since Robert Downey Jr is his civilian avatar, but even he is repeating himself. Thor and his hammer can do just so much to keep us interested. The Hulk struggled to get to his full size recently (happens with age, I am told).
The superheroes have made a Wildean deal with the creators. Their human selves might age, but their superhero versions never do. Like in Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, where the portrait grows old while the person remains young. What we need are new superheroes. Not saving the planet or the universe (anybody can do that), but focusing on the local. Think globally but save locally. Why should they not save the street you live on or the building that needs another coat of paint? Why only distant galaxies and life as we don’t know it?
Here are superheroes we would love to see: Anagraman: Speaks only in anagrams, and says ‘Shoo Top0r Still’ or even ‘Oh! Ports ills too’ when he means ‘Stop, or I’ll shoot’. Known to confuse and conquer.
Gardenerman: Identified by his green fingers and permanent smell of manure. No one can use a telephone booth after he has been inside one. This upsets Superman. Knows how to deal with rakes, though.
Refrigeratorman: Cool, but not as popular as the others for his habit of releasing CFC into the atmosphere and thereby choking the very people he is trying to save. Quotationwoman: Stops villains in their tracks by quoting from Shakespeare. Reduces sweaty criminals to tears by asking, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” Super hero secretary man: It is his job to bring all the other superheroes together when needed. Keeps track of their leave applications, medical needs and sends flowers to their spouses.