Dr Monikaa Chawla, Reproductive Endocrinologist & Fertility Consultant
When I was 6, Louise Brown, the first IVF baby was born. It was 1978, and it was all over the papers, and I remember being so fascinated about this miracle of nature. Fast forward many years: when I went to the UK after my basic medical graduation, someone mentioned assisted conception as a field. I had always wanted to become a doctor, but I didn’t consider specialising in infertility at that time. But now it was as though destiny was prodding me to pick up this field. I’d started thinking about it a lot so it was like a secret wish coming true. [As a GP] you treat diseases and conditions, but here you are creating something; it’s like a harmony of science and nature, it’s like no other speciality. My dad has been the most influential
person in my life. I have a sister and my parents both worked. I imbibed everything – from hard work to honesty – from my dad. A government officer, he used to work hard and with integrity, and those qualities percolated into my life.
I graduated from Delhi… went to the UK for further studies, then moved to the Middle East to experience this part of the world. Initially I did not intend to spend a long time here and thought I’d return to India soon. Now I’ve been here more than a decade. And it’s been a very fruitful journey.
A tough decision I had to make… was going to the UK when my kids were very young. But I didn’t think about it twice; I knew I had to do it. So for a few years I only saw my kids a few times. I was pursuing a degree, working long hard hours, but I had a great support system thanks to my family. Leaving the UK and coming to Dubai was another challenge; IVF was quite new here a decade ago. Now the region has flourished very quickly in healthcare.
People don’t realise women can place work as top priority and still balance
family. I think being a woman was an advantage in my journey from gynaecologist to IVF consultant, then taking up fertility. It’s when you take up leadership roles that you have to push yourself a little more, as men think you might not prioritise your work, that you’ll take breaks and go on maternity leave, you’ll have to take care of children… But women are better multitaskers, I feel.
Women’s Day is about… celebrating women in all walks of life. All my achievements are thanks to a lot of women
around me. Without them I’m nothing. It’s a team thing – my nurses, support staff, my maid. They gave me the push to be at the forefront while they work in the background. There’s been a change in the way
fertility is viewed. If once there was a stigma attached to infertility, things have changed and more men are coming to understand it’s not just a women’s problem. Now men are coming to accept that a third of the problem rests with them. So there’s more and more acceptance. Earlier I used to insist that women bring their husbands to consultations. Now they’re coming on their own, and they try to understand the process and support the woman in a journey that can be difficult. Also what has changed is couples are now increasingly sharing their stories. There are more support groups here. It’s becoming like other medical issues that you can discuss openly. It’s all about not letting a couple be isolated in society.
We often take the birth of our kids for granted. But motherhood is truly a miracle that every woman deserves to have if she chooses to. Helping people achieve that is most satisfying. You become a part of the couple’s lives when you bring their baby into this world. I feel women should always have control over her fertility. With techniques like egg freezing, she can conceive when she wants to. These options give women control over their bodies. I get too emotionally involved with
my patients… and I think that can be a weakness. I play the role of friend, confidant and counsellor apart from medical doctor
– it can be draining. I often lose sleep if they fall ill or are facing some issues. Failures too can be draining, but then the rewards are such bliss. You do have to draw a line between empathising and keeping a professional distance. I try my best to achieve that balance. My most treasured possessions…
are the hundreds of handwritten notes my patients have given me over the years. Those notes as well as voice messages and baby pictures are what give me strength to overcome failures. Winning the distinguished physician
award in the UAE last year was fantastic. It was so fulfilling to see my work being acknowledged; it was such a surprise. I don’t have a perfect work-life
balance… but now am consciously working towards it. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You have to make sacrifices. I’m trying to incorporate exercise
and meditation into my daily life. I’m also trying to give more time to my kids. My daughter is in Stanford, and my son is leaving this year for higher studies. When I get time, I love writing and reciting poetry.
Women face guilt… and though I always stretched myself to do more than what a man would have done, I felt I could have done more. But it’s important to have a support system who will say “no you’re doing fine.” My kids have seen me working hard and recently my daughter said “mum, you are my role model”. I think my kids have learnt to be more independent because of my attitude to hard work.
Currently I run free education campaigns on social media, and free
consultations; it’s my way of giving back. I want to help those who can’t afford it.