ON THAT NOTE

Our columnist Suresh Menon has tips on how a more confident, better equipped you should approach a store henceforth.

One of the things you must never do in a country other than yours, I was told sagely on my flight to a country other than mine, is show interest in what you find interesting in any store. All life is negotiation, he said with the air of a man who has often been on the wrong side of negotiations.

So bargain, bargain, bargain, he advised. He might have gone on with more ‘bargain’, but I made an excuse and changed my seat after negotiating with someone at the back of the plane.

Once on land, his advice seemed to make sense. Thus it was a more confident, better equipped me that approached a store that week. I had two secret weapons: my apparent lack of interest in the very thing

I wanted, and my determination to bargain.

So I walk into a store, smile at the sales person but when he begins to bring out stuff, I walk away. Neither he nor I knew what I wanted, so that didn’t help. He didn’t think I was making a point, merely that I seemed to be a couple of marbles short of a full box.

At the next place, the sales person got as far as “Shall I…..” before I shook my head and walked away. All good deals begin with indifference.

I realised there are five stages in bargaining: indifference, anger, walkout, recall, compromise. The first is easily achieved, and if you can include a sneer or a disdainful shrug of the shoulders, so much the better. But it is necessary for both bargainer and bargainee to know what the objective is. Or you fail at the start.

Anger can be faked, so that’s not an issue. Stage 3, the walkout is crucial. It works only if the store-keeper co-operates in the next stage. Remember, he might be following a different set of rules. One of which says, “When a customer feigns indifference, raises his voice and walks out, don’t recall him.”

If you walk out and there is no recall, then the whole thing collapses. You feel superior but foolish, and worse, without that wonderful pen or rare cow creamer you came for. If there is a recall, however, then the next step is logical: compromise.

You offer one-third of what is quoted, and flick something off your shirt to indicate indifference. I discovered very quickly that the ancients were wrong. The customer isn’t always right. In fact, quite often he is asked to get out and never come back.

Perhaps it is better to have bargained and lost than never to have bargained at all. Or how can you dearly miss something you never had in the first place?

So I walk into a store, smile at the sales person but when he begins to bring out stuff, I walk away. Neither he nor I knew what I wanted...