Stop the space invaders!
Gender comfort and culture are playing a significant role in how people treat each others’ personal boundaries
incident when she was at a close friend’s home for lunch. She said her friend, of the same gender, decided to sit “an inch away from my face”. That’s where she draws the line.
She said: “I don’t want anyone sitting too close to me, especially when I am eating and the whole couch is empty.”
Sebastian Tan, a Singaporean senior manager based in Dubai, said the only time he has reacted to people invading his personal space is at ATM queues – and this happens with both men and women. “Sometimes, people stand so close to you while you’re waiting in a line. I have often asked people to move.”
However, Salvadorian national Jaime Samour, a veterinary surgeon in Abu Dhabi, does find it uncomfortable when men encroach his space.
He said: “I am not sure why, but I guess it might have something to do with the possibility of pick-pocketing, and more importantly, the notion that they are trying to jump the line. This has never happened to me if it was a woman.”
So, how close should you stand?
Maria Abdul Muquheeth, a Filipina working in human resources in Dubai, has done the maths. She consciously maintains a distance of five steps from all women. With men, it increases.
She said: “I am a keen observer and I don’t just jump into someone’s space. If I meet someone for the first time, it would take time for me to get close to the individual. If a woman stands closer than five steps to me, it means she has known me for many years.”
The private space bubble we create around us is measurable, some researchers say. American anthropologist Edward Hall studied proxemics — the human use of space — in the 1960s and his extensive research still stands today. He stated that people were enveloped by bubbles of four different sizes, each of which applies to a different set of people.
The smallest zone, called intimate space, extends about 45 centimetres outward from our bodies, and only permits family members and pets to enter. The next circle extends from 0.5 metre to 1.2 metres away and is called personal space — here, friends are welcome, especially during informal conversations, but never strangers. From 1.2 to 3.6 metres from us is social space, where acquaintances and people we don’t know are accepted. Beyond that is public space, open to all.
While Hall’s research provides a rough idea, our perception of the ideal distance is always being challenged and modified.
Country dwellers are used to more space than urbanites. But the Earth expects to see an addition of 4 billion people before this century is over, according to a United Nations study. By 2050, almost 70 per cent of people are predicted to be living in urban areas.
Overpopulated cities means shrinking of personal space.
Dr Seraphim added: “Social status also has an impact. When two persons from different social statuses are communicating, their personal space is wider than usual. A person from a higher social status might reduce the distance when she is speaking with a person of a lower social status. However, it is very rare for a person from a lower status to get physically closer to an interlocutor who has a higher social standing.”
Another factor that plays a significant role, is culture. Gulf News’ survey found that an overwhelming majority of readers — 29 of 30 — believed cultural differences lead to the invasion of personal space.
Nassef Naguib, an Egyptian educational adviser based in Abu Dhabi, said: “I am from an eastern society, where traditions stress the fact that there should be distance between men and women. This is why I’m more uncomfortable when a woman invades my personal space.”
Fareeha Sultana, a Bangladeshi homemaker based in Sharjah, is willing to make exceptions for her family members, and is very affectionate towards them. But everyone else stays at arm’s length. She said: “In my culture, it isn’t even a good idea to shake hands with people of the opposite gender.”
But when living in the UAE, where over 200 nationalities interact on a daily basis, people should be able to adapt.
Aisha Al Janahi, an Emirati senior social media specialist in Dubai, said she has never experienced discomfort over personal space, and this has more to do with how people behave with each other than anything else.
She said: “People’s manners are different based on their cultures. But... people will respond to you based on how you deal with them, how you look at and how you treat someone.” the
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