Children need to know we care

he Indian school that sent out a memo to parents to prohibit their children from watching 13 Reasons Why filled me with concern. Rather than pulling the wool over our children’s eyes, wouldn’t it be better to discuss problematic issues like this and keep channels of communication open? ‘Forbid’ is a dangerous word and can result in exactly the opposite. Teenagers today live their whole lives online and there is no way you can bubble-wrap them against the real world.

My daughter, like most of her friends, watched the entire series. I watched it, too, and we discussed several aspects in detail, particularly Hannah’s growing loneliness and why she shuts her parents out. Far from glorifying suicide, 13 Reasons Why goes to great lengths to show how lonely and vulnerable youngsters are, and how thoughtless and callous comments can wound a child for life. By showing how distraught Hannah’s death leaves her parents and her friend Cole, it emphasises how suicide crushes the ones left behind, creating a dark emptiness that never ever leaves.

Children today live in a very different world from the one we grew up in. We need to be sensitive to their pressures and problems, rather than being judgemental. Encouraging them to share their feelings and giving them the reassurance that we will always be on their side will go a long way towards dispelling feelings of insecurity and loneliness. Teach them to reach out when in trouble. And hold your hand out when they do.

If Hannah had only done that with her mother and father, she would have realised that there are so many reasons to live. Way more than 13!