If their happiness depends on something materialistic, they will not learn how they can manage their emotions

This deluge of toys does not just have an environmental impact. When I look at the issue, what I see is that everybody wants to be a manager and have designer handbags. If you look at the impact of globalisation, everyone thinks that you need certain materialistic things to prove that you are someone with status. But at the end of the day, when you rest your head on the pillow, you don’t remember all that. You remember how people treated you, who was good to you and who wasn’t. Similarly, I always preach to my children that they need to create their own happiness. You need to teach children that happiness is a journey. Even when they do not have anything around them, they should be able to go outdoors and play with the trees or with the cat on the street. It is not just about the coins for games on the internet.

If they keep connecting their happiness with something that is materialistic, like the toys they have, what will they do when they grow up? My daughter told me that she wanted a lady bug flashlight because it gets really dark in her room at night. I told her that this is how the world works, you have the sun during the day and the moon during the night. Why do you think pirates wear eye patches? It is because when they have to go down the hatch, their eye can dilate immediately, and they are able to see in the dark quicker than an average person. So, stay in the dark for some time and your eyes will get accustomed to the darkness, and then you will be able to see.

There was a time when I bought them a lot of toys. Then, one day, when my older daughter was nine years old, her friend came over and she had a phone with WhatsApp and Instagram and my daughter said she wanted one, too. That is when I realised I needed to set more boundaries.

Now, my daughter does things outside the box, volunteers with a charity and wants to be part of one when she grows up. This is what will happen when you force your children to deal with their emotions. They will be sad for a day or two ... on the third day, you will see them playing on trees and being happy.

When you let them deal with the feelings of sadness, anger and denial, they develop emotional intelligence. If they don’t develop that, they might get degrees in the future but they won’t have the social intelligence to deal with the situations life throws at them. That is why the Ministry of Education in the UAE is called the Ministry of ‘tarbiya and taleem’ which is ‘morals or values and education’. Without the morals and values in place, what is the point of education?

From Ms Nora Jamal Al Suwaidi