Irrfan shares cancer struggle
Actor reveals his struggle with a neuroendocrine tumour
Bollywood actor Irrfan Khan, who was recently diagnosed with near-fatal neuroendocrine cancer, shared his turmoil on Tuesday in a heartwarming note.
Titled A Note From London to English daily Times of India, Khan, who is currently receiving treatment in London, spoke at length about how he was a part of a “trial-and-error game” since his cancer was rare and how he had gone through phases of shock, anger and resignation in the last few months.
“I had been in a different game, I was travelling on a speedy train ride, had dreams, plans, aspirations, goals, was fully engaged in them. And suddenly someone taps on my shoulder and I turn to see. It’s the TC [ticket collector]: ‘Your destination is about to come. Please get down.’ I am confused: ‘No, no. My destination hasn’t come.’ ‘No, this is it. This is how it is sometimes,’” Khan wrote.
Khan, who will soon feature in films including Karwaan and Puzzle, also spoke about how the disease had triggered feelings of fear and panic. Initially, he was inconsolable and had no motivation. But his turning point came in the form of a poster of a smiling cricketer Vivian Richards and his view from his balcony in the hospital.
“As I was entering the hospital, drained, exhausted, listless, I hardly realised my hospital was on the opposite side of Lord’s, the stadium … Once, while standing on the balcony of my hospital room, the peculiarity jolted me. Between the game of life and the game of death, there is just a road. On one side, a hospital, on the other, a stadium. As if one isn’t part of anything which might claim certainty – neither the hospital, nor the stadium. That hit me hard,” Khan said.
The actor also thanked his fans for their prayers and how he felt their infinite goodwill in every cell of his body.
“Each flower, each twig, each leaf which has come from the cumulative prayers, each fills me with wonder, happiness and curiosity. A realisation that the cork doesn’t need to control the current. That you are being gently rocked in the cradle of nature,” he said.
In March, Khan had revealed on his social media account that he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and he had expressed the need for privacy. He also promised to keep his fans updated about his condition, and he clearly has kept his end of the promise.