The irresistibility of gossip
IT CAN UNDO REPUTATIONS AND DAMAGE CAREERS, SAY EXPERTS
‘Once a gossip, always a gossip,’ is a phrase you often hear about a person who is known to spread anything from news, facts, or rumours about others.
While gossiping has been labelled as a bad habit and is morally questionable, are all kinds of gossip actually harmful in a society?
Dr Ottilia Brown, clinical psychologist at Lighthouse Arabia in Dubai said that anthropologists and evolutionary psychologists report that it is a natural part of being human and have even highlighted the origins and functions of gossip.
“A few thousand years ago, our ancestors used gossip as a social tool to garner support against out-groups and to leverage status within the group,” said Dr Brown. Back then, he explained, gossip provided valuable information that facilitated survival and thriving and was used as a tool to bond with others or to isolate those who were not cooperating in the group.
“This social skill has been passed down through generations and is still being used as a social tool. In essence, humans have been wired to gossip and where there are groups there is likely to be gossip,” said Dr Brown. Some experts make the distinction between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ gossip. Does this hold merit?
Dr Brown said that some distinguish between the two by using the criteria of intention and consequence. Questions such as, “Is there malice intended by sharing this information?” “What are the potential negative consequences for the person that I am sharing the information about?” can help categorising a type of gossip.
Good gossip
“Generally, good gossip typically serves the interests of the group and not those of the individual doing the gossiping,” said Dr Brown. He explained that gossip can also orientate newcomers in the group to the rules and norms of the group. It can also be used as a tool for reminding group members of group values and as a means of punishing those that are not adhering to group norms.
Gossiping can also facilitate bonding, especially on an individual front.
This can occur if the information is shared with someone who you trust will not use it against you at another time.
‘Good’ gossip can also be used to warn someone of the potentially harmful behaviours of others, said Dr Brown.
“Some would argue that gossip about others’ negative attitudes and behaviours may motivate the listener to regulate their own similar behaviours and help them act in a more socially appropriate manner should they recognise some of the gossip patterns within themselves,” added Dr Brown. The majority of people tend to gossip with friends, family and people they trust and like, which indicates closeness.
Some examples of good gossip can include talking about how well a colleague or family member did on a project or
exam, warning a friend if there is concerning behaviour directed towards them, or a mother warning a child about potential danger when she knows that a peer engages in inappropriate behaviours, said Dr Brown.
On the other hand, some people find themselves gossiping to serve their interest at the expense of others. This can be defined as ‘bad’ gossip.
“Gossip can be used to capitalise on others’ misfortunes and to use it against them during a time of vulnerability in order to advance self-interest,” explained Dr Brown.
Gossip is also a useful ‘political tool’ in organisations/institutions or social structures where people are competing for status or are attempting to remove someone out of a social group.
This widespread bad habit can also be used as a bullying tactic where rumours are spread in organisations, families or more widely, on social media.
“Some people engaging in bad gossip derive pleasure from shaming and slandering others and telling humiliating stories or using others’ misfortune for comic relief or to elevate the self,” said Dr Brown.