Testing true friendships on golf course

Playing with friends can have benefits, but also many drawbacks as a beginner 100 WAYS TO 50

Imagine this: you’re ready for tee-off, got all the gear and very little idea, and the ‘Boss’ has given a pass from home for a limited number of hours (she was told four for a round but allows five as “you’re useless”).

Now all you need are ‘starter’ friends. By this I mean: people who are known to you, have training in modern methods of mental support and guidance, people who care about you and are there for you.

And I thought I had a few: Yarmy, of course, Maple, Trots, and Puddles. To their eternal credit, they took an absolute beginner under their wing and, for at least four holes, not a comment was made. Then, it began … “My wife hits it further than that.” — which in the case of Puddles was true. “Kick it — it’s easier”, “How much were those clubs?”, “Get a refund — hardly used!” and the final one “Just pick it up or we’ll be here all day!”

It’s all character-building apparently. You learn a lot about people when playing golf with them: their appetite for risk, their national traits. It’s amazing how this can be gleaned from four or five hours on a course — let me clarify …

Let’s take Maple, so named as he thinks he’s the best thing to come out of Canada (and he might be right). Who’d think that in such a large country they build such short courses? He advises major corporations on strategy, thank goodness he steers away from financials as even before a hole is played Maple has a sure max four.

Puddles was a captain of industry. But, the truth is, he played with us to avoid regular oncourse thumpings from his wife. In the end, despite Yarmy’s best efforts, Maple having medical issues, Puddles leaving the country, and Trots being happier playing with himself, and myself having learnt all I could to progress my golf, I had to seek new fairways …

You learn a lot about people when playing golf with them: their appetite for risk…