Perspectives on gender in Saudi society
An informal discussion revealed that men see only a few feet beyond themselves, while women view what is not always apparent
In these ever-changing times of gender-bending and blending, it must be understood that much of it is viewed with a degree of confusion in this part of the world as gender is pretty much defined as being male or female. It is fair to say then that much of the controversy that sweeps western societies about gender has somewhat been insulated from GCC society. To highlight this point, last week a group of middle-aged men was seated on loungers at a beach resort as the cool waters of the Red Sea ebbed and flowed just a few metres beyond. As is customary, conversations ranged from health to sport, wives to food, exercise and more.
Hamza was complaining of feeling lethargic. This immediately prompted several remedial solutions. Badr advised Hamza to drink lots of carrot juice and eat some parsley daily. Ishak cautioned Hamza to go easy on the juice as excessive carotene could be toxic.
Dr Jaber interrupted by advising Hamza to listen to jazz. A degree of credence was reluctantly given to the doctor; after all, he was the only PhD in the circle!
Ishak then suggested scented candles in a darkened room. Ribhi, who loves to get in the last word, suggested a series of steps that always worked for him: Stay in the company of those who do not aggravate you. Then take a couple of aspirins followed by half a glass of vinegar. Follow that with an aromatic tobacco-filled pipe. The aspirin was for an impending headache, vinegar for blood pressure and the pipe for serenity.
Soon, the women joined the group and the topic shifted from health to relationships. Somewhere in the conversation, the recent revelations by Prince Harry on the inner workings of the house of Windsor began. That led to a discussion on what people admire in the opposite gender.
What really matters
Dr Jaber said he found green eyes very attractive. Badr blurted out rather blushingly that vital statistics are what set women apart. Ribhi felt ankles were very important — stocky or too-thin would just not do. This led a couple of women to sneak glances at their own ankles. Ishak muttered an inaudible reply, most likely fearing the wrath of his stout wife who shot him a wicked glare. I think it had something to do with a slender neck.
“And what about you, Esmat?” asked Badr. His reply was a woman with a healthy head of hair. Thin mousy hair or the boyish style of cut was not very feminine. While the men pontificated, I noticed the impatience on the faces of the women. Curious about their perspectives, I offered the floor to the ladies present.
Lulu blurted out that gentleness was important. Asma added that wealth was a positive factor. Dr Jaber’s wife countered by saying that character rather than wealth mattered. Lena asserted that a man’s religious commitments were the most engaging of qualities. On the way home, I realised that men can see only a few feet beyond their noses, while women view what is not always apparent.