Hillary will lead us forward: Franken
Did you know that Trump University’s School of Ripping People Off is ranked second in the nation? Right behind Bernie Madoff University? That’s no mean feat.” Minnesota Senator Al Franken
I’M AL FRANKEN: Minnesotan, Senator, and worldrenowned expert on right-wing megalomaniacs: Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and now Donald Trump.
A little about my qualifications. I got my doctorate in megalomania studies from Trump University. Sure, I had to empty out my 401(k) and take out a reverse mortgage on my house to pay the tuition. But Mr. Trump or, rather, some people who said they’d once met him, convinced me it was worth it.
And frankly, as a proud alum of Trump U, I think we may be underestimating Donald Trump. Sure, he’s scammed a lot of people. But did you know that Trump University’s School of Ripping People Off is ranked second in the nation? Right behind Bernie Madoff University? That’s no mean feat.
And Trump University is about more than just bilking people. Although, trust me, you will get bilked. It’s also about learning directly from success experts like Scott Baio, Mike Tyson, and, of course, a life-size cardboard cutout of Mr. Trump himself.
Now, of course, Trump University wouldn’t be Trump University without its business school. Their bankruptcy programme in particular is known throughout the real estate/investment community for its creativity. The most popular course, Bankruptcy 101, or, ‘How to Leave Your Partners Holding the Bag’, is taught by the cardboard cutout itself.
In all seriousness, I think rather than voting for someone who’s never done anything for anyone other than himself, maybe we should go with the candidate who’s spent her entire life working to get important things done for the American people.
I’ve known Hillary for a quarter-century. I’ve never met anyone smarter, tougher, or more ready to lead us forward. I am proud to call Hillary Clinton my friend. And I can’t wait to call her Madam President.
Now, we’re going to have a lot of fun this week. But when we wake up Friday morning, there will be just 102 days left until the election. And what you — yes, you — do in those 102 days could determine who wins. I mean that literally. I won my first race for the Senate by 312 votes.