Notes crunch hits big, fat Indian weddings
I’m disappointed with the discontinuation of Rs500 and Rs1,000 currency notes in India. No, I don’t have a layer of wealth hidden under my mattress, and neither do I represent the opposition. I am a sensitive soul and my heart goes out to the ones standing in ATM queues, and also to the ones who are being ‘forced’ to burn their money. I am upset because this ‘stop-the-corruption’ movement is playing a spoilsport in my big, fat idyllic vision of Indian weddings. I refuse to accept the existence of cashless weddings. Sorry, but I am old school and I wish to raise my voice.
So here’s what all has happened while people wait, stood (and faint) in the queue. Uber has come up with Uber WEDDINGS — an easy way for hosts to ensure that all wedding-related travel in the city is managed through cashless pre-generated promo codes. Snapdeal has launched wedding e-gift cards, starting with a minimum rate of Rs500. And if rumours are to be believed then an Indian couple has gone ahead and printed the Paytm barcode on their wedding invite to facilitate cashless gifts! Next, they’d hand me over food coupons to eat Dal Makhani and Butter Chicken at a ladies sangeet.
My anxiety over these digital developments is deep-rooted in my childhood. During my growing up years, I looked forward to attending Indian weddings. Other than the fact that it meant a week off from school, I liked them for the greasy spring rolls (which, we were not allowed to eat) and the ‘relatives’ — the only people who called me ‘tall’ (they’d remark on my ever-increasing height without fail) too. But, I secretly loved them for the rupee-show, as I called it
The situation at this moment is rather tense. I have a wedding invite for next week in New Delhi and I have the jitters
back then. At 10, my only wealth tinkled in a red coloured Mickey Mouse piggy bank. The sight of gleaming note garlands worn by a man on foot, horse or car was no ordinary view. I’d often wonder, who made those for the groom — tailors, mums, or the bride’s family? Over the years, the trend of sporting the garlands became passé (and I gracefully accepted it); the modern-age grooms decided they didn’t want to be embarrassed. No more notes on thy chest, eh! First, they shaved off the hair and then said goodbye to currency notes too!
Of course, it left me disappointed. But, I continued to draw pleasure of the act called waarna. Here’s more on the act: You are in the middle of a naagin dance on a poor, remix version of Kajra Re. An older woman/man joins you on the floor (or road) and begins to shower you with crispy notes. Soon enough, the bandwala bhaiya stops playing his instrument and crawls onto the floor to gather the notes! It leaves you frustrated. How are you supposed to get the dance movements right, if there are two people crawling at the same time? Unacceptable, I say. The practice is still alive, however, it has become hard to do a naagin dance on a Badshah number. Yet, until now, I continue to breathe and keep faith. Why? For, the gaudy, magenta-red shagun envelopes are still alive. Are they, I can only hope! I am optimistic that we all still have a few friends and relatives, who no longer have toasters, juicers, etc. lying at homes, and hence will be compelled to slip in Rs1,000 notes (grr, 2,000) in envelopes that come pasted with a shiny one-rupee coin atop.
The situation at this moment is rather tense. I have a wedding invite for next week in New Delhi and I have the jitters. My parents tell me that the city is facing a drought of a kind – there are no more Rs100 notes. So, will it be expected of me to hand over a Rs2,000 pink something to a waiter and ask him to look after me (read: keep aside hot gulab jamuns for me. And yes, extra mint chutney too) at the wedding! Unacceptable, unfair.
Economist, politicians, dancers, waiters and change makers — please, don’t mess up Indian weddings. On another note, can I file an appeal, an online petition for the cause of the Indian weddings?
— purva@khaleejtimes.com