How did Chekhov react when he was plagued by boors?
Yesterday I ordered a coffee at a mall not far from office. An Americano, small, milk on the side, in a ceramic mug, to have there. Yes, please, hot milk. Those were my instructions. Or request, to make it sound less, I don’t know, ‘feudal’. I don’t like tepid coffee. What’s the fun if all risk of tongue burn has been eliminated? Nor am I Katherine Mize of Houston, Texas, the lawyer who sued a coffee chain. My skin did not get scalded. And anyway, if it had, I’m not sure I’d have enough outrage to do something about it.
Point is, in under a minute, she had called out: “one small Americano!” The barista knew it was my order. It was a slow hour. I was still standing in front of the muffin-sandwich display shoving change received for Dh50 (minus Dh12) back into my wallet. And right there — a moment of incredulity — at instructions/ request disregarded. The instructions could hardly have been forgotten. She probably just didn’t register what that sole customer, that one woman (me — hi!) was saying. The coffee came in a paper cup, with cold milk. What? Why?? Fine, it was hot enough. But what’s with people not listening? I just said! My inward annoyance at inattentive service decimated a few hundred brain cells. I had, after all, said, in a perfectly non-exasperated tone, that I’d have it in a mug, here, with hot milk, thank you, and smiled. How then could there have been a 100 per cent failure to comprehend and execute a simple enough task that is routine work? She said she’d change it. What would have been the point? The cup would have been wasted. A mug would have been used. Why do we keep wasting opportunities to get it right in the first go? To validate the use of a paper cup (and mourn the many twigs pulped to create it) I decided to not sit down in the spot the sun was spotlighting on, but to just leave.
All it took was one instance of inattentive customer service for me to revisit my list of annoying qualities in people. Not that I’m the most tolerable person, sure. But was I just going to add ‘not listening/ inattentiveness’ to the litany?
(Civilised people)… don’t put on airs, they behave in the street as they do at home, and they do not try to dazzle their inferiors
Till the other day, in yet another revision of this list, I was thinking of my top three pet peeves in people. In a public restroom, when people yank out ten-ten sheaves of tissue paper, I want to thwack them. So on some days, that inconsideration is pet peeve one. On other days, shoulder surfing beats tissue-pulling. I haven’t decided the order yet. Or I’ve given myself licence to change that order as per whim and day of the week. By ‘shoulder surfing’, I mean that thing people do — come up to you and slyly, (unconsciously even?), extend their faces into your desktop, laptop, phone. The other kind of shoulder surfing is when you engage person A in conversation but mid conversation, look past them to catch someone else’s eye or check out some arresting wallpaper or the cut of the diamond in their earrings without mentioning it or seeking pardon. More thwacks to the uncivilised!
In my (hardly always civilsed) opinion, nobody’s done a better job than Anton Chekhov of summing up the eight qualities of civilised people. He nails it and it’s timeless. “(Civilised people)… don’t put on airs, they behave in the street as they do at home, and they do not try to dazzle their inferiors. They know how to keep their mouths shut and they do not force uninvited confidences on people. Out of respect for the ears of others they are more often silent than not…”
“They cultivate their aesthetic sensibilities. They cannot stand to fall asleep fully dressed, see a slit in the wall teeming with bedbugs, breathe rotten air, walk on a spittle-laden floor or eat off a kerosene stove”.
It’s something everyone who hasn’t yet read needs to Google. Try brainpickings.com. Send the link to all the boors you know. That stuff stays with you.
— nivriti@khaleejtimes.com