What will you do if your child grows up to be an online troll?

Most interactions — and growing up — is happening online. The time will come when your kid will face nasty messages online — or worse, post them. Are you ready to police and protect your little one?

Growing up in the ’80s, I think there were fewer apprehensions on parents’ minds with regard to their children. At the most, they seemed worried school grades, or how to keep the kids engaged during the summer break. There was no mental strain, or so I believe, about the uncensored virtual world and the impact it could have on a child’s innocence and outlook. It’s only in the late ’90s when internet and cell phones started making inroads in our lives, and an hour or so was gleefully invested (or wasted) in creating email and messenger accounts, that more worries surfaced.

The late-noughties and thereafter are a different ball game. There are stories everyday about rising insensitivity on the internet. New words have entered our lexicon. The latest and the most dreaded one is troll — a person who makes a deliberately offensive or provocative post online. As a parent of a two-year old, I often wonder when is the right time to introduce my kid to the expansive world of the internet, or shall I say, social media. He is already hands-on with YouTube, voicing his preferences for rhymes and songs. “No a-b-c. Mumma, Baba, Tinkle Tinkle (Baa baa black

sheep...),” he directs me, as I turn on the smart TV. In a couple of years, I assume, he will be well acquainted with social media platforms, too. Facebook and Twitter are often discussed at the dinner table. For these are the popular ways to stay connected with the extended family and friends around the world, and get an instant serving of news and views.

But there are questions that haunt me. How will I cope if my kid opens his heart out on an FB post and is trolled online? Or worse still, if he grows up to be one of those who do the trolling?

Talk about the importance of feedback, advises a psychologist in one of the posts online. “The ability to handle criticism is a valuable skill that your kid will use for his entire life.” True. But what if he starts weighing everything, including self-worth, through validation and feedback from others? That won’t be fair.

Social media has given unrestrained privilege of free speech (sans moral responsibility) to anyone who has access to the world wide web. In the process, it has given rise to an army of users who abuse free speech. Trolls seek pleasure in dismantling hierarchies, and pillorying brutally. But they have no sense or even concern about the emotional toll their tweets or messages take at the other end. The case of Rana Ayyub — a journalist based in India — was recently in the news. She has emerged as a winner in this case, but there are hundreds of others who have detrimental impact on their victims’ psyches.

Over the years, such shame campaigns have grown manifold. If initially only powerful institutions and public figures were targeted, now anyone perceived to have done something offensive, or aired divergent views, is. Moreover, there is a serious disconnect between the severity of the crime and the scathing remarks and punishment meted out online.

“As much as we try to have a thick skin, we can’t. We are humans, not reptiles,” my editor said recently during a different conversation at work. True, we are humans who get affected by negativity. Collective fury is powerful and effective. Let it be used in a constructive manner. People should learn to agree to disagree, and this is what I am going to teach my son when his tiny fingers learn to tap the keyboard and his brain starts processing more meaningful words and messages beyond Twinkle, twinkle little star.

Trolls seek pleasure in dismantling hierarchies, and pillorying brutally. But they have no sense or even concern about the emotional toll their tweets or messages take at the other end.