Dogs to brats... five things that get my goat

Full disclosure: this is a rant, about things that annoy me immensely every time I come across them. This is just the beginning, so feel free to write in and add your own. We might cheerfully then, do Part Two.

Detritus of love

Why do people in love feel the need the leave some mark or evidence of their love for the rest of the world to see? On my part, I don’t see the need to see it, honestly. It’s excellent that you’re all jolly and devoted to somebody, but I absolutely do not need to be a part of it. I’m quite likely to not wish you well if I see this kind of vandalism, and well, with a swell of ill wishes, who knows — karma and all that. People who leave such evidence on monuments and public spaces need to be flogged (in order that they do not repeat the offence) and made to clean up, repair the damage, also pay for it, in terms of money and time (in order that they do not repeat the offence).

Doleful Dogs

This has to be right up there in the list of offences. People get pets — they’re young, fuzzy-faced, irresistible and tug at your heartstrings — and then reality bites. Or dumps on you. Nobody at home has the time to look after the pet — no time from work or the gym or doing your nails, or your groups: gotta keep up. And the pet ends up in the lap of hired help. They have to walk, talk to, bathe, groom a pet that they don’t need and didn’t ask for. The idea that they have to scoop the poop — of a dog! — is mind boggling and repulsive. So naturally, many won’t clean up after the pet if they can avoid it, or if they aren’t in anybody’s line of sight.

They’re blameless, bless their hearts. It’s their parents who are uncouth, and did not find the time to ensure their kids had a drop of civic sense

I was told not to visit Paris if I didn’t want to step in doggie doo. I did visit, didn’t step in the nasty, and so loved the city of light.

roaD bullies

This gets me just choked up. Driving on a road is not about machismo or a display of testosterone. There are plenty of activities where you can test your limits. But inner city driving isn’t one of them. Perhaps we need a purpose-built Neanderthal racing track outside city limits where we can out-lout each other. And declare that the rest of the world to be ninnies.

training trollies

This is the one that parents forgot to send a memo on. So naturally, I blame the parents, not the offspring. If people can load their shopping into their vehicles and drive off after parking the shopping trolley behind the next car, it’s not their fault. They’re blameless, bless their hearts. It’s their parents who are uncouth, and did not find the time to ensure their kids had a drop of civic sense.

squawking brats

They’re meant to be delightful, engaging, curious, attention seeking: it’s a requirement to ensure the survival of the species. The human chick takes the longest to become self-sufficient of all species and so (it) is designed to be demanding, practically up to the point you can kick it out of the nest. Just don’t do it at my expense — in restaurants, nice ones at least, and lord, don’t do it in movie halls. And definitely do not let your child run amok in a parking lot.

harveena@khaleejtimes.com