It’s okay to say goodbye to an acquaintance

Of the many lessons I picked up during my growing up years, the one closest to me is about last conversations. Never leave home in anger or sleep over a fight, I was told. These are words of wisdom. The thought of what if some conversations are the last troubles me. I am not referring to conversations made near deathbeds, but the ones we leave incomplete because of lack of time, inflated egos or different points of view.

Life has its way and makes us react differently to situations and people. A couple of weeks ago, it took an acquaintance and me on different paths. We may never meet again, but what will remain are the last words we shared. It makes me wonder: isn’t it important to remember one another with fondness? If it were a business transaction, we’d close the deal. Why not then do the same in a personal interaction? Why not say goodbye? Why not look back at the time we shared and wish each other luck for the future?

There are friends with whom you can pick a conversation from where you left it last. A schoolmate who you never saw after farewell. A roommate who made your days in the hostel worthwhile. A neighbour with whom you went for evening strolls. Then there are people with whom we share no special relationship or association, but simply spend certain periods of our lives together. They may be colleagues, friends of friends we meet at a party or even an interviewer, who gives us the bad news that we didn’t crack it. Last conversations with these contacts should also matter to us.

Detaching well is as important as a healthy goodbye. As adults, we are always on the run, detaching from people, places and positions. We let go of something each day. We change jobs, neighbourhoods, and career paths. We hang out with friends who matter, and we network with those who we think matter. We switch habits, cars, and mobiles. And in the middle of all this, we forget to close the loop. We move on, sometimes too swiftly. We chase goals and set our eyes on the future. We devalue the past, the yesterday. As you read this, think of the people you left behind in a hurry. If you get a chance would you have something to say to them? You could appreciate the time spent together or laugh at an argument you had? Or exchange that glance or nod which suggests the closing of the chapter.

Growing apart is essential to life, work, and play. Think of your life as a road trip where you’re constantly meeting fellow travellers, just as you are leaving them behind. We don’t necessarily hug every traveller along the way or see eye-to-eye, but we can always acknowledge the presence of the other. Drifting apart and disconnecting need not be impassive. Do yourself a favour, allow yourself to experience the regrets and relationships, and mistakes and milestones before you move on. Here’s to all the people I’ve met and will meet in the future: We fared well together.

As adults, we are always on the run, detaching from people, places and positions. We let go of something, perhaps each day.