Memory boxes capture Afghans’ pain of war and attempt to heal

kabul — It was an evening like many others. Faisal teased his mother Adila before leaving for the Kabul pharmacy where he worked to earn enough money to pay for math and English classes. The 17-year-old dreamed of becoming a doctor.

After kissing his mother goodbye and telling her he loved her, he left the home for the last time. Moments later — in a scenario that has played out in similar fashion throughout Afghanistan for years — a suicide bomber detonated his explosives nearby, killing Faisal and his 15-year-old cousin Ahmadullah, as well as three others.

“He ran out the door. He was laughing. Then just five minutes later I heard this big explosion,” Adila Hamidi said of her son’s last moments in a recent interview, choking back tears.

War and death have dogged Afghans like Hamidi and her family for the past four decades, giving birth to a project known as the Memory Box Initiative, designed by the Afghanistan Human Rights and Democracy Organisation. The project pays tribute to the millions of Afghans killed and wounded in 40 years of relentless war and to help heal the wounds of the living, said Salim Rajabi, project organiser.

Stacked in a room in Kabul and padlocked against intruders are about 300 of the memory boxes stuffed with mementos of Afghanistan’s war dead. Each is decorated with an Afghan flag, created by owners of the boxes to depict the country they hope Afghanistan will become. Inside the box is a second Afghan flag, this one reminiscent of the time in which the killing occurred. Afghanistan has had dozens of flags, including the white and black of the Taleban. Still, many of the deaths commemorated in the memory boxes happened since the collapse of the Taleban, most killed in horrific suicide bombing attacks.

As Hamidi recalled her son’s death, she toyed with a small container of rice she had chosen to place inside her memory box dedicated to Faisal and to Ahmadullah as well as to her husband, Zabiullah Abdali, who is alive, but lost his hand and eyesight in two of Afghanistan’s earlier wars.

When the bomb that killed Faisal exploded, Hamidi’s world came crashing down around her. She recalled running to her son who only minutes earlier had been showering her with kisses.

“He was lying there. His stomach was wide open and everything inside was outside on the ground,” she said. “He looked so small. I couldn’t see Ahmadullah, there was so much smoke and screaming.”

Each memory box takes four days to prepare. It’s more than just bringing in a favorite item of the dead, said Rajabi, the project organiser. Survivors meet with other survivors, they talk of their loss, they exchange stories and then they are asked to write two letters — one to the loved one who died and the other to the larger Afghan community, telling about themselves and about their disappointments and desires for their country.

“The process is as important as the box itself,” said Rajabi. “Family members come together, talk about what happened, talk about the collective impact, shared experiences. It becomes a community experience that we share together.”

Many Afghans can neither read nor write and they are encouraged to put their emotional message to their lost loved one in a drawing. Hamidi carefully drew a garden scene, whose centre was dominated by a bright red apple — her son’s favourite fruit.

The US-led coalition entered Afghanistan in 2001 to hunt down the men who masterminded the 9/11 attacks in the United States. While the October 7 invasion that year has turned into Washington’s longest war, it is just the latest of several wars Afghans have endured.

Dr. Sima Samar, a fierce champion of women’s rights and chairwoman of Afghanistan’s Independent Human Rights Commission, noted that this month marks 40 years of conflict in Afghanistan.

In April 1978, a coup overthrew President Mohammad Daoud and installed a communist government in Kabul, which led to the 1979 invasion by the former Soviet Union to support the government and Afghanistan’s subsequent spiral into relentless war. —

He (Faisal) ran out the door. He was laughing. Then just five minutes later I heard this big explosion

He was lying there. His stomach was wide open and everything inside was outside on the ground.” Adila Hamidi, mother of Faisal

Peace will come with good governance, provision of social services, respect for human rights.” Dr Sima Samar, Afghanistan’s Independent Human Rights Commission