When punctuation is murdered by whiz kids

Sticklers for punctuation, grammar and syntax are a troubled lot these days. They are worried and concerned that the modern generation is throwing the niceties of language to the winds for the sake of convenience.

Some years ago, the Birmingham Council raised a stink when it ruled that punctuation marks should be eliminated from signboards of street names. A sacrilege for grammar buffs. So St Paul’s Square became St. Pauls Square. The reason? Apostrophes are confusing and old-fashioned. So, where is Queen’s English (or should it be Queens English?) heading to?

It is strange that the land of Shakespeare and some of the greatest writers in English literature should have been among the first to put a question mark on punctuation.

The misuse, neglect and omission of the apostrophe are evenly distributed across the globe as well as in cyberspace. In 2011, the Children’s Hospital Los Angeles inserted the apostrophe into its name after 110 years of indifference. The lapse was ascribed to a faulty typewriter key.

Perhaps it is a sign of the times. Why just apostrophe, almost every punctuation mark is receiving the cold shoulder from a generation that finds no difference between a dash and a hyphen, or would care less if told that colon has another meaning apart from being a part of the anatomy. In the age of on-themove Twitter quotes with Trumpesque bloomers and visuals-dominated Facebook posts, punctuation marks have become disposable items.

So why are those few committed teachers of English grammar wasting their time drilling into the heads of the Grade 6 brats that apostrophes are not there just for making typing difficult? From my observation, most youngsters today don’t know when to use its and it’s. I fume each time I read sentences like ‘the dog wagged it’s tail’. Do today’s cyber kids know the difference between a girl’s laughter and girls’ laughter?

It is elementary, my dear Watson. It is punctuation that gives a language order, rhythm, breathing space, style and, above all, absence of ambiguity. Remove punctuation or mispunctuate, and you are in for chaos and confusion.

Imagine the result when people skip the comma in a sentence like this – ‘I am sorry, I love you.’ It will read ‘I am sorry I love you’, giving it a total new twist. Or this one: Go Slow, Work in Progress. Move the comma to another place, and it would have a different meaning: ‘Go, Slow Work in Progress!’ I came across another classic example of misplaced comma when I read this sentence: ‘Let’s eat grandpa’ (hints of carnivorousness!). The correct usage should have been: ‘Let’s eat, grandpa.’

Grammarians are appalled at signboards advertising the sale of “tomato’s” and “carrot’s”. Omitting apostrophes or inserting them in wrong places seem to be an accepted practice. The modern generation is doing away with hyphens as well, with ludicrous and shocking results. There is a world of difference between these two sentences: ‘20-odd teachers were leading the protest march’ and ‘20 odd teachers were leading the protest march’.

For those of us steeped in Wren and Martin grammar stylebook and Fowler’s Modern English Usage guide, the murder of the apostrophe is a catastrophe of Himalayan proportions. Such howlers simply take away the joy of reading. Isn’t it time to reboot our education system and teach the techie whiz-kids a bit of basic grammar, punctuation and spelling, in addition to computer coding, algorithms, AI, VR and all that stuff?

Anthony F D’Silva is a Dubai-based PR consultant

and freelance writer

In the age of on-the-move Twitter quotes with Trumpesque bloomers and visuals-dominated Facebook posts, punctuation marks have become disposable items