Failure can be a liberating experience, don’t fear it
Each of us arrived in this world with a different reading on the grit scale. And through a series of obstacles placed before us we are challenged to rise to our greater self. The potholes chosen for us are customised to shape some part of us.
“If you ask our daughters, I’m not sure they will say that I’ve been a good mom,” said Pepisco CEO, Indra Nooyi, at the 2014 Aspen Ideas Festival.
Nooyi’s vulnerability when she made these statements about her family having to pay the price for her rise as a great leader were raw, culturally unusual for an Indian woman and plain candid. She dared and openly talked about the challenges that many corporate leaders, both male and female, face in their personal lives today.
The Guardian on October 2, 2001, reported: “The US supreme court issued an order disbarring former president Bill Clinton from practicing law before the high court. The ruling is seen as marking the official end of the Monica Lewinsky scandal.”
Yet today, nobody can speak about leadership and people making a true dent in the universe without mentioning the work of the Clinton Foundation and the commitment of its spokesperson Bill Clinton to its purpose. Bill Clinton is one of those rare great leaders who did not let shame finish his story. In his moment of great despair after the Monica Lewinsky scandal, he took out a clean piece of paper and courageously re-invented his story becoming the most powerful version of himself after his presidency.
And I suspect we will see the same of Travis Kalanick, the fired Uber CEO and Founder. In fact, I am betting that the most enlightened and powerful version of Travis Kalanick is around the corner.
Failure or its close relatives, mistakes, tragedies, sickness, shortcomings and shame has the power to stop us dead in our tracks. Somehow it seems to say to us: “You are not deserving and good enough!” Why do we allow failure to carry so much weight? Think about it. Here’s a word when uttered about us causes us to cry, rant and rave, feel depressed, ashamed and miserable becoming bitter towards ourselves, our families and the world.
But, in fact, failure, when we learn from it, allows us so many benefits such as:
> the freedom to try new things and not be attached to the outcomes (particularly important for innovators)
> the ability to start over again more intelligently
> the courage to face our fears
> teaching us humility
> allowing us to take the Uturn in the right direction
> gaining deep mindful wisdom > developing grit > focusing on what really matters
> living in gratitude because of second chances
Think about it and you will realise it is not our greatest success that defines us, but the opposite. It is those things that force us to reevaluate our methods and strategies, goals and priorities, and even our direction in life that brings out something very unique in all of us.
It is the fact that our greatest victories come from fixing our mistakes, overcoming great battles and addressing our weaknesses over and over again. This is why it is so intricately tied to who we become as leaders since it sets our direction.
Each of us arrived in this world with a different reading on the grit scale. And through a series of obstacles placed before us we are challenged to rise to our greater self. Because, we are all different, the potholes chosen for us are customised to shape some part of us that needs tightening. We all need it in different areas of our life, at varying levels and at distinctive times.
So, who introduced this incorrect definition of the word failure that we have all so naively come to believe? The Oxford Dictionary improperly defines it as “lack of success of a person or thing” when we know failure is not only the “stepping stone crucial to success” but always an event and never a person.
I suspect sadly all the people who want everyone else to fit into a box and be labeled decided to make failure a dirty word.
Failure is unique tests designed for us to unleash the authenticity of our leadership. We are all guilty of living small when we are built to fulfil larger purposes. Failure forces us to occupy our bigness. Its scars bear evidence to the world on our outsides and insides of our journey to greatness … so wear them proudly as evidence you are thriving! Here’s an activity I want you to try.
What is your greatest failure/ challenge/shame/mistake to date?
Imagine you are a statue in a park 100 years from now. Draw what that statue looks like. It can be a symbol, your person (alone or accompanied by someone or something).
Underneath that statue have the following words inscribed: The authenticity and strength of ________________’s (your first name) leadership was shaped by the following: (Make a list of your three tragedies, challenges, failures, mistakes and shortcomings past and present that are representative of scars you can wear proudly because they have helped you to thrive today.)
Now write below your statue, in no more than 12 words, the leadership mantra you left the world. Mine would be “She lived her dreams out loud and whispered now you dare!” What will be yours?