Parents need to say ‘no’ more often to raise better kids

One notices that assertive parents are becoming a minority these days. This leads to kids with behavioural and adjustment problems that might impact their personal and professional lives in the future. It could be hard to say ‘no’ to kids, and youngsters can sense it is easier for them to manipulate and employ defence mechanisms that could prove detrimental to their growth.

Setting limits and boundaries for children becomes increasingly difficult when parents are used to giving in eventually in order to keep their children happy. This attitude could inhibit kids from developing tolerance and skills needed to cope with acceptance of rejection from any quarter. When faced with ‘no’ or disappointments they react with adverse responses such as suicide and defeatist attitud.

To escape from the negative reactions of resentment , anger, and disinterest, which are shortlived, kids often lose sight of the bigger picture that helps them to be emotionally better adjusted as adults. James Lehman says, “Always ask yourself, ‘What’s the best thing to do for my child right now?’” Sometimes the answer is to set limits and give a consequence in order to teach them an important lesson about behavior.

However, being assertive does not mean harsh admonishment or rude behavior while saying ‘no’. It can be thought out calmly and presented to the children without being offensive. Acceptance of denial and thoughtful reformation of certain small decisions can help them to become better adjusted individuals and gel with social roles later in life.

Being well informed with technology is no longer a wonder for modern kids, but finding a harmonious blend of social behaviour has become a challenge.

By saying ‘yes’ to every demand, their acceptance levels are never put to test. Parents need to train them to manage their emotions in a balanced way and deal with tragedy and disappointments.