Still waiting for acceptance
When in 2012, Vignesh Menon, a Keralite Hindu, started dating Irshad Ruby, a Christian makeup artist from Pakistan, his friends warned him: Be careful as she’s probably just eyeing your money. His friends were certain that they couldn’t have a happily married future together. Six months later, Vignesh suffered a huge loss in his business. He had to give up his house, fancy cars and he couldn’t even afford to buy a meal. His friends blamed the ‘Pakistani woman’ in his life to have brought the misfortune.
“When I became completely broke in the start of 2013, the first help came from Pakistan. My wife, then friend, had sold her mother’s jewellery to send me cash,” the Indian legal advisor said. “She even cooked food for me and gave me her entire month’s salary. At that time, we had no plan of getting married,” he added.
A few months later, Ruby popped the question: “What if we get married?” Vignesh, who came from a traditional Keralite family, feared getting ostracised from his family. He sought opinion from a hundred friends and 99 of them suggested otherwise. However when Vignesh’s father supported him, his confidence was boosted. They got married on April 23, 2014.
“If I was getting married in India to a Keralite woman, we would have about 4,000 to 5,000 guests in the wedding. Sadly in our case, only three friends attended our wedding. Our parents were not a part of it,” he said.
Vignesh’s mother found out many months later that he was married and that too to a Pakistani woman. She was shocked and simply refused to accept her. “She sort of felt ashamed that I had married outside the community. All the dreams she had about having a Keralite daughterin-law got shattered. She even said if I would go to our house in Kerala with my wife, she would leave the house.”
Things took a positive turn when Vignesh and Ruby had their first child — Anjali. “When I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew the world would change,” he said.
His mother paid a visit to their Dubai house for the first time to meet her newborn granddaughter and Ruby left no stone unturned to win her heart. “I decorated the house with flowers and candles. All I needed was her acceptance,” Ruby said.
“I have grown up watching Indian movies and I am a big fan of the Indian cricket team. When India wins a match against Pakistan, my husband and I both dance to drumbeats. Initially I would make Punjabi parathas at home and now I cook South Indian dosas and idlis. We celebrate all the Indian festivals such as Holi, Diwali together and I always take the initiative, especially because that’s the time he buys me new clothes,” she laughed.
“I see no difference between my husband and I — except the colour of our passports.”
This Independence Day, the family hopes to celebrate both August 14 and 15, back to back.
“Last year on August 14, my daughter and I clicked a photo of ourselves waving the Pakistani flag and on August 15, we had a similar photo with the Indian flag. My daughter will never know any difference between the two countries,” Vignesh said.
Last year on August 14, my daughter and I clicked a photo of ourselves waving the Pakistani flag and on August 15, we had a similar photo with the Indian flag. My daughter will never know any difference between the two countries.” Vignesh Menon