Why you must step outside your comfort zone
When you give meaning to your goals, it changes from being a task to a purpose
We are all familiar with the notion of “stepping out of our comfort zone”, which literally means what it implies, leaving a zone of familiarity, safety and security. To some, even the thought of leaving that zone fills them with anxiety and panic. Sadly, this fear is found more in women than men due to the cultural influence in early childhood because we raise our girls to play it safe and our boys to be brave.
We women get scared to take the leap outside the doors of the unknown because it’s safer indoors and only the courage of a “warrior” would help us survive the harshness of uncertainty that’s waiting for us outside. Success and risk become so combative due to the aggressive style of language used that woman are not inherently comfortable with them.
It’s true that to chase your dreams, you need to go after them, and it doesn’t have to be tough with “masculine” strategies, but rather approached in gentle ways through embracing our inherent strengths and instincts: compassion, determination, intuition and nurture.
Compassion
Be gentle with yourself; give the same love, kindness and compassion you would give to your family, partner and friends. Practise selfcompassion towards your failures; accept that imperfection is part of your human experience. Acknowledge that failure is not only inevitable, but it’s also a good teacher.
Be compassionate towards your goals and dreams; remember they don’t have to be grand to be worth the chase. Start by setting realistic goals for transformation and success; don’t undervalue the power of starting small. Starting small is better than not starting at all and remaining stuck in the comfort zone. Ask yourself: what is the smallest step I can take now to start moving forward?
Determination
Determination fuels the motivation that inspires you to step out of your comfort zone. It enables you to push through and keep moving forward when things gets scary and uncomfortable. Find out why
Intuition is a powerful guiding force that most women are blessed with. —
you want to achieve what you want to achieve. When you give meaning to your goals, it changes from being a task to a purpose and that will fill you with determination to pursue your dreams even after setbacks and challenges that might be encountered.
Determination is a mindset that enables you to persist in the face of difficulties, allowing creativity and imagination to flow and create possibilities.
Intuition
Thinking about quitting your job, but you can’t because of financial reasons? Are thoughts like ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not ready’ or ‘I’ve got other priorities’ emerging every time you seek change? Do you feel that change is filled with fear and anxiety, so you decide it’s “safer” to stay? Unfortunately that’s your scared ego talking! Your ego shows up when you’re about to experience the different and unfamiliar regardless of the end benefit.
Your ego is completely different from intuition. While your ego is there to help you survive, your intuition will try to fight against your fears to help you thrive. It is a powerful guiding force that most women are blessed with. The more you love and trust yourself, the more you become in touch with your intuition. So, learn to trust yourself. Women are born nurturers. We nurture relationships and love doing things together and for each other. You think you are alone in the fear of jumping into the unknown? Trust me, you’d be surprised that the most successful women leaders have all been in your shoes of doubt.
My advice to you is to find your female tribe. Enlist women friends and colleagues who can help you face your fears and doubts. Join female networks or, better yet, create your own. Cultivate a safe space of nurturing and sharing each other’s ideas.
I read once that “if you have a plant that is sick because you keep it in a dark closet, and you say soothing words to it, that is comfort. If you take the plant out of the closet and put it in the sun, give it something to drink, and then talk to it, that is nurture.” (Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estés,
So ladies, redefine success using our own gentle terms. And let us meet each other outside our comfort zones, embracing every feminine inherited strength and instinct given.