Men are not fall guys
The Fall of Man. I am referring to the original sin that the first man succumbed to after biting the forbidden fruit given to him by his female partner. That event saw his exit from paradise — the garden of Eden. Now, thousands of millennia later, he continues his free fall on social media after revelations from the #MeToo campaign. I am aware that I have an onerous task where I am expected to take a moral stand which requires me to expound on the first sin and the wages of that sin.
Man, women have concluded, is an animal, immoral and in decline because he refuses to take that leap of faith into some sinless, ethereal form — which is too much to ask of him. He is human, just like the woman. Mistakes, flaws, infractions, errors and compromises have been made by many men in power and they must pay through courts of law. But after the tumult of the past weeks I know that women will hound them out. Mob justice on social media has become de rigueur and men are expected to meekly and unquestioningly watch the next big guy fall, all in the name of selective gender justice — which I refuse to do.
I am unashamed to say that I was muffled, muted and (perhaps) intimidated by the chorus of powerful women who were coming out in unison against their alleged former oppressors mostly in the media and entertainment industries. In hindsight, it was a targeted attack on a clutch of men — the big boys media club.
These guys allegedly had their way with women who didn’t have the courage to speak out or seek legal recourse when the incidents happened — then and there. They quietly went into the den of some paper lion in a hotel to see the hunter in his loin cloth.
The women who didn’t scream many decades ago are now on vice watch, on social media. They have found their voices, to corner the men, (at least some of them), and caught them, pants down. Watching this decline of man got me thinking, and I wondered: Whatever happened to good old romance, the art of wooing, even flirting? Consenting adults, anyone? And what are the tenets, the rules of behaviour in a friendship or relationship between a man and a woman in these virtual, viral times? Men have to read the signs, we are told. In other words, become shrinks.
There are experts who even tell you how to spot and catch a misogynist. Worse, even bad sex between consenting adults could be brandished as rape against men who are struggling to stay above the fray.
So I held back writing during the peak of the #MeToo campaign in India that became fodder for the 24/7 news cycle. Decibel levels and emotions ran high as the clamour to get rid of bad apples among the big boys club got louder, and culminated in the resignation of Indian junior minister M.J.Akbar for his alleged excesses during his long tenure as a newspaper editor. Last week, another rape allegation against the former minister surfaced which was denied by Akbar and his wife.
Through this drama I am expected to take a stand — for the women, of course. While presiding over this moral dilemma I have decided not to cast the first stone. What I insist is that these cases be taken to court and justice meted out to these sexual perpetrators if adequate proof is produced.
Which brings me to the core issue of abuse of power by people at the helm. Misogyny exists but are we ignoring larger, graver incidents that affect women in the present? Here the #MeToo discourse should have been more about women’s safety in society and in workplaces. Sexism — which the dictionary defines as prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex — is a weaponised word and is open to abuse.
What’s worse is that it has come to redefine behaviour between the genders — rather irresponsibly — which is demeaning to healthy relations between the sexes.
What happened online was an elitist, one-way narrative. I have been criticised for saying this, but most women who came out were empowered to launch a name-and-shame routine, a cathartic Internet confessional many years after the actual incidents happened.
Through the #MeToo noise, I was shocked to watch news organisations downplay the report of 30 girls beaten up at a school in the Indian state of Bihar the same day the #MetToo campaign in India took off.
These girls physically resisted sexual advances of the boys. They refused to become the victims and fought the thugs who returned with other goons and family members and surrounded the campus.
Media reports said the girls were beaten up with
The campaign sounds selfish to me, in this climate of hate — against men
sticks by more than two dozen people. The incident rattled me, but I applauded the courage shown by the girls. This was #MeToo for me — in the here and now.
The same online activists were silent when a Catholic Bishop in India, who was accused of raping a nun for 12 years, was given a hero’s welcome when he was released on bail. And what do women have to say about people gathering on the hills of Sabarimala in Kerala to protest and throw out the Indian Supreme Court verdict that permitted females of all ages to enter a centuries-old temple? Sexual discrimination, abuse and harassment exist and must be rooted out, but #MeToo cannot be expected to provide all-encompassing answers to these problems.
The campaign, therefore, sounds selfish to me in this climate of hate — against men. What we are witnessing is an online circus that has lost objectivity while being used to settle scores by a select few.
Have women let themselves down in their pursuit of justice and equality, or have they gained courage to speak out against sexual harassment and abuse?
They’ve succeeded in doing both but men are suspicious and fearful. Only honest discussions and debates on gender equality and discrimination will provide solutions. Meanwhile, men and women would do well to respect boundaries — in love and lust.
Men are not fall guys. Or, is the Fall of Man complete?