Khaleej Times

Double your happiness by being together

- EllEn HEndrikSEn —Psychology Today Ellen Hendriksen, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologi­st at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders

Money can’t buy you love, but data shows that it may also cost you your humanity. Research has just barely scratched the surface of the relationsh­ip between money and mindset, but what’s come up so far ain’t pretty. We’ll investigat­e what is lost as the money begins to roll in, and — thankfully — how to hold on to the things money can’t buy.

Let’s start with what money costs us. Courtesy: Ever heard this one? What’s the difference between a catfish and a BMW owner? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is a fish. Unfortunat­ely, a 2012 study carried out along a Northern California roadway revealed that BMW owners often live up to this bad reputation. During the study, a researcher repeatedly posed as a pedestrian standing at a crosswalk, ready to cross the street as a car approached.

When the research team created a fivetiered system, with low-value, dilapidate­d “category 1” cars at the bottom and luxury “category 5” vehicles at the top, like BMWs, a pattern was evident. Every single category 1 car stopped for the pedestrian while almost 50 per cent of the category 5 vehicles blew through the crosswalk, leaving the hapless pedestrian in a cloud of exhaust. Empathy: Studies found that people of lower socioecono­mic status could read others’ expression­s and emotions more readily than their wealthier counterpar­ts. Participan­ts were given a picture of a ladder with rungs labeled 1-10 and were asked to selfidenti­fy their social class by choosing a correspond­ing rung. The lowest rungs represente­d those who are the worst off, and the highest rungs were those who are the best off. The participan­ts were asked to participat­e in a hypothetic­al job interview. Afterwards, each participan­t rated how strongly they felt a variety of emotions.

But then, there was a twist: they were also asked to rate how strongly they thought their counterpar­t felt each emotion. Lowerclass participan­ts were able to judge the emotions of their interview partner with more accuracy than higher-class participan­ts.

Compassion: Participan­ts were tasked with watching two videos while connected to a heart rate monitor. One was instructio­nal video where a woman explained how to build a patio wall, while the other was a documentar­y clip of kids with cancer going through chemothera­py.

All participan­ts reported, on average, feeling five times as much compassion while watching the cancer video as they did while watching the patio video. But there was a correlatio­n between how much compassion they felt and their social class: Lower-class participan­ts reported feeling significan­tly greater compassion for the kids with cancer.

Helpfulnes­s: Simply thinking about money can change a person’s behaviour. Participan­ts played Monopoly with a confederat­e for seven minutes. Then they filled out some bogus forms and got up to leave, thinking the study was over. But it had only just begun. As each participan­t began to leave, a researcher carrying a pile of office supplies walked in front of them and accidental­ly-on-purpose spilled a box of exactly 27 pencils. This was the real test: How many pencils would each person pick up?

The good news: No one sidesteppe­d the mess. Every single person helped pick up the pencils. However, the group that had been primed with thoughts of wealth picked up significan­tly fewer. Ethics: A final study was elegant in its simplicity. Participan­ts were primed to think of themselves as higher-class or lower-class. Then, after filling out some forms as a distractio­n, they were shown a jar of candy and told it was for kids participat­ing in studies in another lab. Those who were primed to think of themselves as comparativ­ely wealthy really did take (more) candy from a baby.

One factor may be the mindset of independen­ce versus interdepen­dence. Second, the mindset of independen­ce and the idea of self-sufficienc­y are often intertwine­d.

To wrap up, happiness definitely includes comfort and security, but it also requires community, togetherne­ss, and feeling part of something larger than yourself. Indeed, it brings life to the saying, “Some people are so poor, all they have is money.”

Happiness definitely includes comfort and security, but it also requires community, togetherne­ss

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