Respect personal space, it’s key to all relationships

Apart from the obvious physical contact and seating problems that comes with airline travel, there were invasions of personal space from the sensory domain that were almost equally troubling for participants

The news that former US Vice-President Joseph Biden, Jr has a long history of getting physically close to people, particularly women, raises once again the question of the role of personal space in social interaction. You know from your own experience that when people other than your most intimate partners, friends, or family stand too close, you feel the need to step back within what you feel is a safe zone. It feels creepy to have them right in your face and even worse when they make physical contact.

Research on personal space has a long history in psychology, having established that there is a zone of physical proximity that allows people to feel comfortable in the presence of others. However, there are times when you have no choice but to be physically close to a stranger. You’re standing in a crowded train or bus, and the person next to you is just inches away. To keep that closeness from becoming an issue, you do everything you can to establish some sort of invisible barrier. The easiest way to achieve this is by avoiding eye contact.

People can also get very territorial about their personal space. Perhaps you’re used to sitting in a specific seat in a class or at a meeting. On one occasion, you arrive a minute or two later than usual. Lo and behold, there’s someone in “your” seat! You spend the rest of the time mulling over how uncomfortable you feel in this other spot, as you struggle to suppress the feelings of annoyance you have at the person for occupying your space.

Relevant to the study of personal space is a 2017 study of airline passengers by University of Nottingham’s (England) Laura Lewis and colleagues. Airlines provide a perfect lab to study how people feel about their personal space due to the fact that seats are close together, there’s no escape for the duration of the flight, and there’s little you can do to protect yourself from people who don’t respect boundaries. Pun intended, Lewis and her colleagues referred to these people as

“space invaders.”

On an airplane, Lewis explain, the

“proxemics” include “concern for autonomy, control, and privacy” that passengers have within the limits of their own seat. You can probably relate to this idea if you’ve ever spent the majority of a flight making sure you have access to your own armrest or resisting being jammed in by a passenger in a reclined seat in front of you. Apart from physical comfort, these factors also relate to the psychological aspect of comfort, or degree of stress you experience.

Apart from the obvious physical contact and seating problems that comes with airline travel, there were invasions of personal space from the sensory domain that were almost equally troubling for participants. You can probably relate well to this result if you think back on a time when you were seated next to a stranger who just would not stop talking or asking questions. You might also experience this kind of noise pollution if you’re near someone in a public space who engages in loud cellphone conversations. Although you might be able to overcome the distraction if you try very hard, it’s more likely you’ll have to put on headphones to drown out the loud offender.

Finally, when defining personal space, participants provided responses supporting the literature’s definition of this concept.

To sum up, five tips will help cope when personal space issues occur:

Be kind to your friends. You have more freedom to invade the personal space of people you know well rather than strangers, but don’t take for granted the likelihood that they won’t mind you closing in on them.

Look around you. Be respectful and attentive to boundaries, especially in close spaces, and especially when there’s no easy escape.

Confront if you can, but not if you can’t. If confrontation isn’t an option, find ways to distract yourself or at least send out signals that the invasion isn’t okay.

Sniff but don’t snoop. Be aware of the sensory intrusions you create by wearing strong scents, talking too loud in public places, and asking overly personal questions of strangers.

Learn to read body language. Sensitise yourself to recognise the signals that you have gotten too close by observing the other person’s behaviour. If you sense you’ve overstepped, back off. Personal space is a key component of all relationships, and luckily one that is relatively easy to manage once you understand its importance.—Psychology Today