3 TIPS FOR COUPLES (LITERALLY) MARRIED TO WORK
Bhoomika Ghaghada is co-founder and lead copywriter at STREET FZC, a Sharjahbased advertising agency she runs with her partner, Tarun Shyam. Over six years, they have successfully transformed a start-up, targeting millennials and Gen Z, into an innovative agency with a client list that includes Victoria’s Secret, Nike, and Flash Entertainment.
The duo met at the American University of Sharjah in 2014, where they both received a B.A. in Mass Communication. They have been together for seven years, and enjoyed several professional highs. Behind the scenes, these highs were underscored by happiness — but also by friction.
Fundamentally, Bhoomika and Tarun have opposite working styles. Noise, for example, excites Tarun. Movement — even pacing across a room or kicking a ball around — fuels his brain. Bhoomika, on the other hand, finds flow in stillness. They worked, collided, resolved, and collided again.
“I couldn’t understand how to live with his dynamism and struggled to control and contain it,” says Bhoomika. “He wanted to operate on his own and didn’t recognise how creative freedom could coexist with order.”
It led to avoidable arguments, frustration, and angst that spilled over into their personal relationship. In 2017, they began shuttling between the UAE and US, with the client list expanding to include government entities like Sharjah Book Authority and Sharjah Airport International Free Zone. The time difference meant they had to work harder at communication. With the help of therapy, the pair learned the necessary tools to not only cohabit peacefully — but also amplify each other’s work efforts. Here are some you may find useful: 1. Don’t try to change your partner.
“That was my first mistake. Not seeing the value in his working style,” recalls Bhoomika. Often, it is easy to get caught up in proving your position to your partner, so that you experience less resistance. Try to understand their way of thinking instead. This dynamic shifts when you slow down to recognise the value your partner brings to the table and when you employ empathy, not judgment. Instead, recognise where tension surfaces within you and communicate it clearly. 2. Be mindful of these key communication tactics.
• Focus on how you are affected by your partner’s actions, while taking responsibility for your emotions. Not “You made me angry,” but “I felt angry because…”
• Never interrupt your partner, even when things get heated. Giving each other room to speak, allowing time to think, and being patient during silences are all helpful.
• Mirror what your partner says once they’re done speaking. It’s an important listening tool, where you repeat what you’ve heard without altering the content of their speech. When you listen with the intent to mirror, your focus shifts to understanding rather than reacting.
• Schedule weekly check-ins — about 10 to 45 minutes — to talk about feelings, goals, and fears. This is not a time to list everything that’s bothering you about your partner, talk about Covi-19 or work, but an opportunity to understand them and get on the same page.
3. Lead with self-awareness.
In high-stress situations, we often forget to check in with ourselves to assess what we need in the moment. A daily meditation practice, journalling or simple self check-ins means that you can clarify where you stand, and communicate daily how much physical and emotional room you need from your partner (“I’m finding it more difficult to focus today, so some silence and stillness would really help me. Do you have something to ask/discuss before I can take two hours uninterrupted?”).