Khaleej Times

In the extreme, some good personalit­y traits can turn bad

- Juliana Breines THE SHRINK Juliana Breines s a social and health psychologi­st based in the US. —Psychology Today

Ahigh score on a positive personalit­y trait is typically seen as a good thing. But the authors of a recent article argue that even for the most beneficial traits, extreme levels can backfire, causing problems in relationsh­ips, work, and mental health. Instead, they say, moderation may be healthier than we give it credit for. The following five traits are generally desirable, but they have their limits.

1. Agreeablen­ess: Agreeable people are warm, kind, and cooperativ­e, and these attributes make them great partners, friends, and colleagues. There is no question that an agreeable personalit­y is an asset in many situations. But research suggests that in the workplace, people with extreme levels of agreeablen­ess, compared to those with more moderate levels, tend to have lower salaries, receive less mentorship, and may be less likely to voice creative ideas. Other research finds that too much agreeablen­ess can be detrimenta­l in relationsh­ips — for example, spouses who try to see the good in their partners’ actions even when those actions are very harmful may end up with bigger problems and lower marital satisfacti­on down the line.

2. Conscienti­ousness: Conscienti­ousness involves self-discipline, orderlines­s, and achievemen­t-seeking. Benefits of this trait range from superior work and academic performanc­e to better health and longer lifespans. But the relationsh­ip between conscienti­ousness and well-being may look more like a curve than a straight line — it’s helpful to a point, but at higher levels it can be problemati­c, prompting obsessive-compulsive tendencies, perfection­ism, and stress. Even its profession­al benefits may have a ceiling: for example, one study found that participan­ts with mid-range scores had the highest incomes.

3. Extraversi­on: Extraverts are assertive, talkative, and friendly, and they are energised by social interactio­ns. Compared to introverts, extroverts tend to score higher on measures of happiness, perhaps due to greater social engagement.

But there can be downsides to extreme extraversi­on, including a greater risk for delinquent behaviour, psychopath­y, and even viral infection. In addition, one study found that the assumption that extroverts make the best salespeopl­e may not be quite accurate: among call-centre representa­tives, it was the ambiverts (those who have a mix of introverte­d and extraverte­d attributes) who made the most sales, presumably due to their greater flexibilit­y in speaking and listening.

4. Emotional stability: While neurotic individual­s experience more frequent negative emotions, self-criticism, and heightened stress reactivity, emotionall­y stable people are calm, even-tempered, and good at managing stress. This trait has widerangin­g benefits, from less volatile relationsh­ips to a lower likelihood of suffering from mood disorders.

But there’s a reason so many people experience at least some degree of neurotic tendencies — fear and anxiety are hard-wired survival mechanisms that presumably evolved because they protect us from harm. Although this system can go awry when people see threats where they don’t exist, the other extreme can be just as dysfunctio­nal: a total lack of fear can lead people to take unnecessar­y risks that result in injury or death. One study found that high emotional stability is common among people who engage in high-risk sports like skydiving. The line between risk and recklessne­ss in this context may depend on whether calm confidence is balanced with appropriat­e levels of fear and caution.

The idea that higher is not always better when it comes to positive personalit­y traits suggests that the difference between “good” and “bad” traits is not as black and white as it might seem. On each continuum—introvert to extrovert, neurotic to stable, and so on—there may be a broad range of scores that can be considered healthy and adaptive. We don’t need to be perfectly kind, responsibl­e, friendly, open-minded, or calm. In fact, we may fare better by avoiding the extremes—in either direction.

We may also benefit from allowing ourselves to be complex and even contradict­ory, rather than trying to fit neatly into a personalit­y box. We might tend to be more conscienti­ous at work but have a carefree side with friends, or we might be generally agreeable but also have no qualms about being brutally honest when necessary. Honouring all sides of ourselves can increase our sense of authentici­ty. —

We may also benefit from allowing ourselves to be complex and even contradict­ory, rather than trying to fit neatly into a personalit­y box.

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