When an email shocks you and makes you sick

‘Iwas reading your story and ...” Every columnist hopes their writing will have an impact on the reader. Perhaps the piece touches the reader in some way, inspires them, makes them pause for thought or, perhaps, the reader simply enjoyed the message that piece of work conveyed.

So, when a column I wrote in 2013 is still getting letters, you would think I would feel overjoyed that people continue to respond to it.

Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth.

“Can you send me the contacts you mention of the people who provide Syrian brides? I want one for myself and for a friend,” a letter writer asked me, conveniently copying the link to my column about the desperate plight of Syrian refugees in his email.

“I always wanted a fair woman. And I heard Syrian woman are fair and obedient, so can you help me get one for myself?” wrote another.

I am repulsed by these requests and delete them immediately. They miss the point I was making about female refugees who are being trafficked and married off to strangers and sleazy older men and who are often returned to the refugee camps if they become pregnant.

I made the mistake of replying to the first two emails I received. In both cases, I lectured the letter writer about why it was wrong to prey on desperate refugee women and talk about them as if they were a product for sale. The responses I received were obnoxious, but one comment in particular really got under my skin: “They should be grateful we are even marrying them. We can just use them without marriage.”

While most didn’t say where they are from, those who did said they were from Pakistan, from Kenya, from Nigeria and from the United States. The one from the US said he “just wanted to help” and was “willing” to consider marriage if the bride seemed “suitable”.

“Is there a number I can call to find out more about the Syrian brides?” asked “John” from Austin, Texas. The one factor all of them mentioned, without hesitation, was how they were only interested in “very young” brides.

Besides these women-related emails, the other most common response I get is about “dream interpretation”.

I wrote a story about it a while ago and am still getting requests from people asking me to “explain this dream for me”. Some people seem to think I am a dream expert. Nothing should surprise me. I have seen how anything can happen in conflict zones: an elderly lady was beaten up for a lame gold necklace, and children were used as forced labour, and worse still, as victims of black-market organ donors.

A 14-year-old boy once pulled up his shirt and showed me the hideous scar across his back: “They took a kidney,” he said: “but I am lucky, they left me the other.” Who needs horror movies when you can just drop by a war zone and see it in real time? When I disguised myself as a refugee in Lebanon, I sat with a group of women and saw what kind of emotional, verbal and physical abuse they endured almost on a daily basis. At every turn, someone wanted to take advantage of them in some way, either by not paying them their promised wages (the authorities ignored their pleas for justice), or wanting to recruit them for trafficking with promises like: “At least you will be fed regularly”.

Desperate people, regardless of what nationality they are and where they are in the world, are preyed upon. Besides women and children, men are victims too, especially young men, who are targeted by extremist groups, recruited as fighters and often spirited away by older manipulative group leaders. The policemen in Iraq who dressed up as women to avoid being executed by ISIL is just an example of what lengths people will go to in order to stay alive.

Even that may not be enough, as they risk being raped by the terror group members.

From brides to dreams, it is interesting what pieces get a reaction from readers. It is my hope that other more important pieces are having a positive if quiet impact.