RYM GHAZAL: THE BABY BUSINESS

‘Seems there’s no limit to when a woman can have a baby’,

It seems that almost anything today can be turned into a lucrative business, including making babies. Probably since the dawn of time, women have been bombarded with the importance of getting married, becoming a mother and having children as soon as possible.

Actually, so are men. In many cultures, a man is not a real man unless he has children, especially boys.

This pressure to procreate has instinctive, social and familial triggers behind it and, of course, it is understandable as all species want to pass on their story and genes to the next generation.

But besides this drive to avoid extinction, having a family is a beautiful cosy chapter in our lives that, despite its challenges, gives birth to one of life’s most powerful types of love – the love of a family.

But now it seems there is no age limit to when a woman can have a baby. This year, singer Janet Jackson gave birth to her first child, a baby boy, Eissa Al Mana, at the age of 50.

There have also been numerous stories of other celebrities having children in their forties. I have known women who got married not because they fell in love, but rather because their husband was “compatible” and the main goal of the marriage was to have children. They felt their biological clocks were ticking very strongly.

Of course, everyone is free to decide what they want out of life and what kind of a family they want.

However, a news report this week has stirred up plenty of debate and attracted plenty of criticism from both medical professionals and the public.

As reported in The National, some fertility experts reacted angrily to the news of a woman, aged 63, having a baby in Dubai after having a course of IVF treatment in India. There were health complications for both the mother and the baby, and the fact the couple are elderly – both are in their sixties – made some readers question if it wasn’t selfish of them to bring a child into this world who may well end up losing both her parents before she is a teenager. IVF is big business. There are ads for fertility services and clinics everywhere, from advertising to text messages and emails.

Some who go for treatment find it hard to admit to their family and friends that they are having IVF, as this might be construed as an admission that there was a problem. I have seen new mothers of twins reacting defensively when asked whether they had had IVF. It is generally understood that the chance of a single embryo dividing and resulting in identical twins is higher after IVF, and so people make assumptions and ask.

Given the number of children who are orphans and refugees, desperate for love and a safe home, it would be great for those couples who really want children, who can afford it and have, perhaps, passed a certain age, to give orphans a chance.

Sure it is not the same as having your own. Loving a complete stranger is harder and does take more, but love conquers all.

Adoption is a bit more compli- cated in the Middle East, as it is more of a fostering system, but in the end, it is about the act of giving love and receiving – and that is worth overcoming all the obstacles for.

I have met orphaned Syrian refugee children in Lebanon who were so desperate for a home, that they would wait at my car, and offered themselves for $100 (Dh367) at first, then brought it down to $50, having misinterpreted the shock on my face.

Everyone is searching for love, and sometimes, those orphans whom we may ignore on the street as they beg and try to sell things, may be the very solution for our own search for meaning and love in our lives.