Prince Harry’s years of chaos
Sought help for the grief he suffered at his mother’s death
LONDON // Britain’s Prince Harry said he suffered “total chaos” before eventually seeking help to deal with the death of his mother, Princess Diana.
The prince, 32, said he had spent years trying to ignore his emotions after Diana’s death in 1997, when he was 12.
“My way of dealing with it was sticking my head in the sand, refusing to ever think about my mum, because why would that help? It’s only going to make you sad. It’s not going to bring her back,” he said.
It was not until the age of 28 that he sought help from mental health professionals after encouragement from others, including “huge support” from his older brother, Prince William.
“It was 20 years of not thinking about it and then two years of total chaos. I didn’t know what was wrong with me,” he said.
Although Prince Harry has referred to grief in the past and supported mental health charities, he is acutely sensitive about media attention and it is rare for him to speak openly about his personal experience. Diana and her boyfriend, Dodi Al Fayed, were killed in a car crash in a Paris underpass on August 31, 1997, along with their French driver Henri Paul as they tried to outrun photographers. Her death triggered a mass outpouring of public grief and Prince Harry walked behind her coffin during the funeral, which was broadcast around the world.
He said he recently confronted the grief of losing his mother and tackling the pressures of his royal life, including overcoming a feeling of “fight or flight” during engagements.
“I generally don’t know how we stay sane. I don’t have any secrets, I’ve probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions.”
During a decade in the British army, he twice served in Afghanistan and met soldiers in a recovery unit, an experience he said had affected his health.
“You park your own issues because of what you are confronted with,” he said. Describing himself as “a problem” through much of his twenties, Prince Harry said he found that taking up boxing had helped. “Everyone was saying boxing’s good for you and it’s really good for letting out aggression,” he said.
“That really saved me, because I was on the verge of punching someone. Being able to punch someone with pads was certainly easier.”
Prince William and his wife Catherine are now campaigning with Prince Harry to end stigma around mental health, supporting several charities through their Heads Together initiative.
Prince Harry said once he started talking about how he felt he discovered he was “part of quite a big club” and encouraged others to open up.