The problem of bullying requires better role models in our schools

Some people are power hungry bullies who rule over the lives of others. They are the mean people who prevent you from being friends with others. It doesn’t matter where you live or who you are, you will be familiar with this kind of negative, hurtful and destructive person.

These people can be anyone, from friends and teachers to students and fellow workers. They seem to be everywhere. You know them, they sit there scheming on how to get back at somebody for the smallest infractions. Sometimes they turn their nose up at you or sneer and jibe when they see you, and they get away with it. As we approach Ramadan, we should look to examples such as Abu Bakr, the close friend of the Prophet Mohammed. He was the helper of the poor, who saved many from death and torture. It’s a shame that few remember or even know his story today. If people did, many events that we grapple with today would be avoided.

There was this secretary at the first school I taught at in Dubai. She and I both lived in Sharjah. We took the same bus to school every day.

It was just the two of us on that hours long journey each day. She never greeted me when I got on the bus or said goodbye when she got off.

“She is so sweet,” the head of my school used to say. I never saw that side of her. Once, we had a new teacher who was much nicer. As the new teacher got off the bus, she always attempted to wave at us. Once, the bitter teacher grabbed her hand.

From that day on, three hours a day we rode to and from work in an awkward silence. I read while they stared out the windows.

Fourteen years later, I stood next to her in the small haberdashery shop in my neighbourhood. Each time she acted as if I wasn’t there. This might sound like the confessions of a nerd. And you may wonder why I should care about this person.

The reason is clear. Even as an adult, the thought of her behaviour still hurts. This type of bullying not only hurts the target, but it even affects innocent bystanders. It is all the more hurtful when the bystanders are children.

Recently, I got a call from a friend whose fourth grade child witnessed a teacher slapping students, belittling them and ripping out pages from their notebooks. When the mother complained, she was told: “If it’s not your child, then why do you care?” She cared because her daughter came home upset and asking for help to make this nightmare of a teacher go away.

My friend took her daughter out of school, vowing to never send her there again. This child is lucky to have a mother who can and is willing to keep her at home, but what about those children who are wondering who they can turn to?

School can be a great place, where children fall in love with learning, make friends and build lasting relationships.

It is a place where children learn good behaviour from the examples surrounding them . The idea of a role model is a formal term that describes how children mimic the good behaviour of people around them. Children learn the most from what they see, not as much from what you tell them.

My first role model in Dubai was a poor one as far as behaviour is concerned. I knew better, but many children don’t have the experience or knowledge to distinguish between right and wrong and may end up repeating the awful behaviour of the teachers that a child described as “ferocious”.

In this Year of Giving, perhaps there should be some inspections to get rid of those who put children in harm’s way, directly or indirectly. This would give many children and parents the relief they need. It will also signal to those outside the country that happiness is not just an idea, but something that even the smallest members of society deserve.

‘ Children learn the most from what they see, not as much from what you tell them