Look for telltale signs to keep off romance fraudsters and protect your money

Valentine’s Day might put you in the mood to look for love online. Unfortunately, criminals are also on the hunt, but for victims, not romance.

“Meeting people online has opened the door to romance fraud,” says Kim Casci-Palangio, programme director of the peer support programme at non-profit group Cybercrime Support Network in Michigan.

“You feel you can trust them,” she says, adding that cyber criminals often cultivate relationships for months before asking for money.

Reports to the US Federal Trade Commission show consumers lost $1.3 billion in 2022 to romance fraud. While romance fraud can happen to anybody, experts suggest some strategies to reduce your risk of falling for one.

Firstly, beware of online relationships that move fast. People are often eager to move relationships forward quickly, especially around official holidays, says Eva Velasquez, president and chief executive of the Identity Theft Resource Centre, a non-profit organisation. She suggests going slowly instead.

Fraudsters, Ms Velasquez says, tend to shower their targets with affection, proclaiming their love early on.

Then, the victim feels compelled to send money when the fraudster says they need it.

“They make up some excuse like an accident,” Ms Velasquez says. If their target does not send it to them, they move on to the next victim.

Another sign of romance fraud is if the person you are interacting with asks you to communicate off the dating app, such as by using WhatsApp or email, says Ayleen Charlotte, whose story of being tricked by a romance scam was featured in the Netflix show The Tinder Swindler.

“They want you in a more personal environment to get to you,” Ms Charlotte says.

Ms Casci-Palangio says another sign that something is amiss is if the person you are communicating with declines to have video calls with you or meet in person.

They might cite reasons such as living overseas, serving in the military or working on an offshore oil rig. “They may not be who they say they are,” Ms Casci-Palangio says.

They might also be using canned scripts that they send to several people; using terms such as “honey” instead of your name is a sign you could be interacting with a fraudster.

If you start to wonder about the person you are communicating with online, it is time to go into investigative mode.

Ms Casci-Palangio suggests starting with a reverse image search of their profile photos. You can upload any photo to images.google.com to generate results. “But [fraudsters] could also be using a newly created image. Having no online footprint is also a red flag,” she says.

Melanie McGovern, spokeswoman for the Better Business Bureau, a non-profit group that promotes marketplace trust, suggests taking notes on your interactions so you can notice any inconsistencies.

If your love interest mentions a high school they attended, then look it up and confirm whatever other facts you can.

“Make sure you’re asking all kinds of specific questions,” Ms McGovern says, especially if they share a sad story about a sick relative or other compelling tale. Then, go back and ask the same questions a week later. “If they can’t remember details, you should be sceptical,” she says.

One common scenario involves the fraudster encouraging you to send money for an investment or asking you to accept a large deposit, which you then forward to another account. But then, the first cheque does not clear and your own money vanishes, warns Seth Ruden, director of global advisory at BioCatch, a fraud prevention company.

“Don’t take funds from people you’ve never met, and don’t offer to circulate funds for others,” Mr Ruden says.

Ms Charlotte says a lot of people feel stupid for falling into any type of fraud. “That’s the taboo I want to take off. You are not stupid. This is what a fraudster does. This is their job.”

Usually, victims do not tell anyone that they have been defrauded, fearing embarrassment, Ms Casci-Palangio says.

“Scams can happen to any of us. The right scam just has to find the right person at the right time.”