Backchat With Catboy
Our man on the radio isn’t feeling very social
II’m writing this on the last day of my summer holiday. It’s 7am and I’ve been sat looking out at the pool and sea beyond, after strolling down an hour earlier to procure the same row of sun loungers we’ve had for the duration of the holiday (apart from the one, fateful day when I committed the ultimate dad-sin of, “having a bit of a lie-in”). This has been the first time in recent memory I’ve taken a proper break. It has been a zero-work and zero-technology holiday. “What do you want... An award?” I hear you ask (well, it’s been a while, actually!) A few years ago I included in this page a breakdown (in both cost and volume) of just how much “tech” I usually carry on these supposed breaks and it read like a vast exaggeration, but wasn’t. And so, with each passing vacation, I have slowly weaned myself off cameras, video equipment, tripods, lighting, stabilisers, gimbals, drones, iPads, laptops, wires, chargers, plugs, batteries and power banks, to the point where now the only thing I bring is my phone, for emergencies and maps.
I’ve also had to go cold turkey on work and social media. In my day-job (sarcastic and slightly over-the-hill radio mouthpiece) the two go hand-in-hand and it’s easy to fall down the rabbit-hole of believing my three-hour-a-day job is actually 24/7 and that I’m invisible unless constantly posting on multiple platforms to a seemingly rapt audience of listeners who can’t survive unless I tweet that I’ve been supermarket shopping or post yet another drab Instagram photo of my daughter or dog doing something vaguely cute.
I normally announce my temporary retirement from social media via social media (obviously), followed by (a) a flurry of cheeky replies from followers along the lines of “you won’t last a day” and (b) an intense period where I post more photographs in a fortnight than Patrick Litchfield took during his entire professional career.
My tumble from the Whatsapp wagon is usually just as hasty, especially work-related messages. And I can’t help but check and reply to emails of a similar nature.
However, I am pleased to report that for the last couple of weeks, I have eschewed the usual pitfalls and temptations and I’ve actually pulled it off. I have remained off the grid. I haven’t had a holiday like this since before Facebook, Youtube, Google, Yahoo, Ask Jeeves and the iMac.
And today, the last full day of my holiday, I sit here feeling tanned, refreshed and about as zen as a dad-of-three ever gets to feel, staring at a swimming pool I will shortly begin and eight-hour session of doing nothing in, and my phone pings and the “world’s favourite airline” has emailed to let me know online checkin is available. So I swipe-up and am taken to my cobwebbed, untouched email inbox.
And there, right below the checkin email, is a message demanding 500 words. And, since the most interesting thing I’ve done recently is inflate a variety of humorously-shaped pool inflatables and find (possibly) every conceivable way to eat halloumi, I have absolutely nothing to write about, so I’m going to get back to being offline and staring at this view.
See you next month.