WEEKEND WARRIOR
It wasn’t a pretty performance, but Brunty doesn’t care ’cause he’s only gone and made it onto a podium…
Brunty revels in his first podium
Blimey, I’ve managed a podium finish! And not an age-group podium finish, but an actual one! It goes without saying this means I’ve managed to finish third in a race, because whenever anyone says they ‘finished on the podium’ that always means they came third, but I don’t care because I’m such a rare visitor to any of the three steps to athletic heaven that I’m still reeling more than Neymar after a shoulder-barge.
I can vividly remember my only other visits to the top steps of races:
Third place overall in the 30mile Claude Butler Time Trial in the Midlands, which saw the local paper write that I had “powered my way to the podium” under a large action shot of me on my bike with a massive snot-drip on the end of my nose.
Second place in my age-group in the very first Avenger Middle Distance Triathlon, of which I have no record because it was an edible medal made of shortbread.
First place in my age-group at the British Masters Athletics 10-mile road race for which I received a large gold medal, and which would have looked more impressive if there had been anyone receiving silver or bronze!
Yes, over the years I’ve achieved no more success than you might expect from one of the lesser species of the vegetable kingdom, but perhaps I’m finally ready to take my place among the pantheon of sporting greats after my recent success, a result which was as surprising as it was haphazard.
The race in question was the ‘Mild Mustard’ 10km swimrun race at Box End Water Park in Bedfordshire. Based on the ‘ÖtillÖ’ race series it comprised 8km of trail running interspersed with 2km of openwater swimming, broken down into six runs and five swims. ÖtillÖ races are normally done in pairs with athletes attached by a bungee cord, and I’ve been itching to have a go for ages but have never been able to find anyone who wanted to do it with me. This race was a solo effort, though, meaning the only obstacles in my way were the fact that I’d never done a swimrun before, and I didn’t have any of the kit you need.
To be honest, I didn’t realise there was kit I’d need until I got there and saw everyone wearing it. It mostly comprises a cut-off wetsuit that you can also run in, hand paddles which you keep on your hands while running, and a clever pull-buoy contraption (to counter the weight of swimming in your running shoes) which attaches to your thigh via a bungee cord and which you swivel round between your legs when you swim. In my usual slapdash manner I arrived with no wetsuit, no hand paddles and an ordinary pull buoy, which I ran with in my hand making me look like I was running round clutching my lunch.
The start was as frenetic as the Colombian football team defending a corner, and after the first 1,500m mad dash I was about 30th into the water. Happily, thanks to having arms like a gibbon and a background in swimming, I came out after the first 400m swim in third. The race then settled into an identical pattern over the next 8km – the two lads in front surged ahead each time we ran, and I then clawed them back on the swim.
The race finished with a run so any dreams I had of victory were quashed long before the final 1km dash, but I was deliriously happy to come third in a pleasing 1:16:59, just 30secs behind the winner.
So finally I might have found something I’m good at – although having spent thousands of pounds on bikes over the years, the irony that it doesn’t involve cycling is not lost on me. It also means that of course I’m going to have to buy a load of new kit, which may take some explaining at home. The general rule seems to be that if you can carry it, you can use it, so I’m now doing all my training runs carrying a canoe on my shoulders. I’m also now actively seeking a partner to have a go at an ÖtillÖ world championship race with me, which might be a harder challenge – not the race, finding a partner!
“Whenever anyone says ‘I finished on the podium’, that means they came third”