WHY I T RY
Shangrila Rendon uses her past experiences of sexual abuse, addiction and PTSD to overcome her limits and help others. Fresh from her latest worldrecord-beating feat, here she tells us how
My childhood is a big part of my mindset. Whenever I’ve thought of racing something big or scary, I always think of my childhood, when I didn’t know how to protect myself. I was abused from the ages of five to 19, and then sexually assaulted at 24. I ask myself, ‘How much worse can a life be?’ This is nothing compared to what I’ve experienced. That really affected my racing.
When I started triathlon, it was very hard because I had no idea how to swim. I didn’t know that I needed to put my head in the water. I was scared when it was deep and I couldn’t touch the bottom of the pool. I’ve gained so much because I never let my fear stop me. Instead, I see triathlon as an experience to bring colour to my life and to meet more amazing people.
I came from someone who just really hated the world, hated my parents, hated myself. I just didn’t care about life. I was going in circles. Then I realised that there are other individuals out there who are in a worse state and I had to do something to help them. Even though I was only just finishing races at that point, I thought, ‘You’ve got to do something big, just dream big’.
It started off with the goal of one iron-distance a day [for 34 days]. But when I was cycling on the 11th day I forgot to fasten my helmet before I started riding. I was falling asleep and I didn’t want to jeopardise my safety. So, we changed strategy… I eventually completed 23 Irons in 34 days.
Some of the swimming was in open water, I’d start very early when it was pitch black at 5am. I had a headlamp and gloves. It was very cold. I swam in the shallows and I’d have headphones in. I had people on the shore walking alongside me and they’d tell me go left, right and straight so I didn’t have to sight.
Running was the same one mile stretch and the cycling was four miles back and forth. It could be hard mentally. One of the things that helped was that everything was timed. I would have a volunteer time me if I went to the restroom or for lunch. If I stretched, I’d say, ‘Okay, time me, two minutes’. They’d scream out ‘Two minutes!’ and I’d set off again.
We had almost 150 volunteers. In Covid times when it’s really tough for people financially, it was a way for people to show up. I got my energy from them. Instead of thinking about how many more days [I had left], I forced myself to be present in every hour. People would call up and talk to me about how I’d helped them as a coach and an athlete. I was in tears when I was cycling. That kept me going.
“I see triathlon as an experience to bring colour to my life and to meet more amazing people”