Luxury in paradise

ROB IRVINE joins humming birds and tree frogs on an all-inclusive break in a fabulous St Lucia resort

GROWING up I was never entirely convinced that a Bounty bar is the ‘taste of paradise’. Not even in later life when Nigella deepfried one.

The good people at Mars may have had St Lucia in mind when they came up with this slogan: plenty of coconut and plenty of chocolate and rather nicer they are, too.

St Lucia is where you will find the chocolate plantation owned by Hotel Chocolat, purveyors of top-end delicacies for people doing their Christmas shopping at Piccadilly station.

But all said and done, in this heat, I’d sooner go for a rum punch. Which is exactly what you get the moment you arrive at the Coconut Bay resort on the southern tip of this magnificent Caribbean island.

Waiting to check in, booze in hand, you can take your pick from several clocks claiming to show the time all over the world. They are all randomly inaccurate, leading to the sensible conclusion that on holiday it is any time you want it to be. Coconut Bay – big bay, loadsa coconut palms – is a large but personable all-inclusive resort.

One side caters for families with the other reserved for adults, with a shared space focused on extensive eating and drinking opportunities.

The journey couldn’t be easier with morning flights from Manchester direct to St Lucia, followed by a five-minute drive to the hotel.

The rooms are big and comfy with great air conditioning. If you get fed up with 35C and high humidity there is, I believe, a “it’s a bit nippy, I think I’ll put a jumper on” setting.

From my limited experience of the Caribbean, the best part of the day is early morning when the sun is just below the horizon and most guests are still sleeping off the previous night’s excesses.

The Coconut Bay’s extensive grounds are well stocked with exotic plants ringing with the sound of tree frogs. And darting from tree to tree are tiny and industrious humming birds.

It’s warm enough to go swimming and you get the ocean to yourself as the sun comes up. That’s a bit closer to paradise than anything you will find in a selection box.

Now, to food. You will not go hungry here and the quality is excellent, with great choices from Caribbean and “international cuisine.” The fish dishes are particularly good.

The main dining room is buffet style and very informal. If you prefer table service there are several choices, including a pan-Asian and Italian restaurant. Most choices are included in the package as is the plentiful range of drinks, including decent local lager and dark ale.

We had great plans to explore the island top to toe but the call of the hammock was too powerful most days. A couple of times we managed to drag ourselves 50 feet to the spa for an outdoor massage, with the sound of the waves lapping against the shore.

But one trip not to be missed is the half-day jeep safari exploring the lush and mountainous southern end of St Lucia.

We made frequent stops to see different views of the famous Gros Piton mountain and to see the exotic plants. It’s not every day you can pluck a papaya from a tree or see pineapples growing. They grow on the ground and take 18 months to develop, so stop leaving them to go off in the fruit bowl! We even picked up a fresh nutmeg which made its way into the Christmas cake this year.

The highlights both involve getting wet – and in one case pretty mucky and smelly. We finished off with a power shower under the Diamond Waterfalls, a really powerful cascade to enjoy along with a swim in a natural pool at its base.

Prior to that we visited Souffrière, one of the main cities of the island and home to a live volcano. It is not quite Vesuvius, more of a muddy heap from which flows a stream of hot and sulphurous water heated by the lava. Far enough down this is cool enough to take a dip in, coating yourself with cleansing volcanic muck and clay which does wonders for the skin but not many favours for your swimming gear, so take an old pair.

St Lucia is beautiful with plenty more to explore but it is also nice to relax at Coconut Bay on a sunbed with a book and a beer, taking the occasional trip over to the family side for a go down some brilliant water slides.

You just need to let the inner kid out again.