Make way, Scarface, for proper headcase

Marked for life by hard-hitting, er, advert

They say that you should never tempt fate. Unfortunately, I don’t know who “they” are, but I wish I had met them before posting a recent Facebook message.

I joked that I was about to try sky-diving without a parachute and in the dark, and that I had been practising by jumping off the top of my wardrobe blindfolded. Now, many of you may think that, from the accompanying evidence, I gave it a bash but finished well out of medal contention. Wrong.

And no, I wasn’t auditioning for a starring role in Scarheid –a west of Scotland remake of the Al Pacino 80s classic Scarface. More Shug Shortbreid than Tony Montana: “Say hullo tae ma wee mate, by the way”.

And you’d also be mistaken if you thought it was the aftermath of a spat with an over-excited audience member at one of my comedy gigs (unlike Jerry Sadowitz, I’ve always been made very welcome in Montreal). Because, sadly, the truth is far less exciting.

That gaping wound – expertly repaired by the wonderful A&E staff at Monklands Hospital – was instead the outcome of a vicious attack from an unruly pop-up banner. Honest.

If ever there was an examplee of a hard- hitting advertisingg campaign having a massivee impact then this was it.

From now on there will be no more daredevil diatribes on Facebook – just in case. Anyway,y, I’m hoping my hair will coverr the scar...