Goldfish, gargoyles and the pool of insanity for Dom
There can be a fine line between a hidden fishing pond and a madman’s backyard. Dom Garnett immerses himself where fantasy meets reality
I’VE fished some highly unusual venues in my time, but this little treat deserves some kind of special prize. Even for a bloke with a screw or two loose, a simple telephone call was to turn into an extremely random encounter.
“It’s, erm, not the biggest lake,” said my mate Russell over the phone. “The owner’s a bit mad too. But there are some crazy fish in it. Big roach, orfe, koi, even rumours of sturgeon.”
The mystery level went up to Agatha Christie grade when I couldn’t find the merest sniff of information online. Where was the place, Narnia? I would just have to fish it and find out.
The place I found was somewhere between a garden centre and the mansion of an evil genius. Hulking gates swung open – I was expecting Count Dracula or Blofeld to come out, but it was a bloke in wellies and gardening clobber.
For a mere backyard pond there must have been two-thirds of an acre there. He gave me the quick tour and I gaped at massive koi in a holding pool, along with bizarre oriental statues, a Grecian urn, even stories of a big pike.
I was hoping my mate was just late and wasn’t tied up in the chap’s wine cellar.
An hour later, I was relieved when he joined me. He was quickly catching roach, while my rod was nearly pulled into the lake by a devilishly handsome ghost carp within seconds of casting out.
That was just Act One, though. Bizarrely, for a backyard pool, the place was rammed with skimmers. Then came chunky rudd and a bright orange ide.
After hearing about Russell’s previous visit, I had to photograph these fish with great care, as if this was indeed a Bond villain’s hideout.
“The guy went absolutely mental last time I tried to take a picture of a carp,” he warned.
“Didn’t seem too fussed about much else though. See that peg opposite? There were two Irish guys sat there with a bag of tinnies getting absolutely ruined.”
It’s remarkable how even fish in such a small, tame pond can quickly get clued-up. The carp would give a couple of smash takes, then nothing until you’d located another group, before the pattern repeated.
Sod’s Law dictated that my best carp, a splendid mirror with huge apple slice scales, never got a portrait as the owner came round that very instant.
About 10 minutes later, Russell’s pole elastic went walkabout as he wrestled in a giant, carrot-orange goldfish that weighed close to 3lb!
As the light dipped and we packed up, I half expected some Oompa-Loompas to show us out. I’m not sure I’d find it again, let alone go back, but it was a bizarrely memorable day’s fishing.