A reason for living
A view by health and wellbeing campaigner Barabel McKay, chairwoman of the Mid Argyll-based Health and Care Group.
Sometimes things do not work out as planned. In days gone by, children admitted to hospital were denied visitors because they became so upset when they left.
Their distress disrupted the ward routine and, it was thought, their recovery. It took a determined effort by an organisation called the Welfare of Children in Hospital to gain the right of parents to support their children. Long term research showed that the emotion shown helped to guard them against mental health problems in the future. It even hastened their discharge. Being docile and compliant was not a good sign.
Now there is a campaign to remove restrictions on family carers supporting those with dementia in hospital or care homes. It was named after a man called John, who was living happily with dementia. His daughter describes a hospital stay with restricted visiting as cutting the delicate threads that linked him to this world.
During the pandemic this organisation has been hearing harrowing personal experiences. Sometimes callers don’t even give their names while they share grief, damage, bewilderment, despair and feelings of guilt. The organisers say that, in the name of infection control, great damage is being inflicted, and not just to people with dementia. Mothers are having to give birth without a partner, patients are given terminal diagnosis without immediate support of friends or family. They are seeking a judicial review.
This current situation is a nightmare for those in authority. The fear of our politicians is that by lifting restrictions they would be seen to be standing by and watching the deaths of tens of thousands. You can understand their difficulty – we are all too ready to seek someone to blame.
John’s campaign highlights that deaths from dementia have risen more than 50 per cent in the last six months. They say that people can die from heartbreak, and that is certainly true of babies. A well-known study showed that newborns deprived of consistent loving contact did not thrive and their death rate was significantly higher than those who had sustained love. We have talked before of the importance of having a reason for living. With no end in sight, there will be many others who feel that the continued collapse of daily habits and the support systems they had built up erodes their will to keep going.
How can we achieve the balance between doing no damage to others while making our own life and death decisions? Perhaps a start might be Mary MacCallum’s plea in last week’s Argyllshire Advertiser letters page – ‘nothing about us without us’.