How should you discuss racism with your children?
Want to know how to ensure your children understand the issue? LAUREN TAYLOR asks the experts
GEORGE FLOYD’S death in police custody and the subsequent protests across the world for the Black Lives Matter movement, has catapulted racism to the forefront of social consciousness.
This has forced many white people to consider and better understand systemic racism and take an honest (sometimes uncomfortable) look at white privilege, and question how they can be a better ally to black people.
For parents, there’s an added responsibility to raise kids to be racially-conscious. After all, parents are the people best placed to influence their children’s understanding and ability to contribute to positive change.
But if it isn’t a topic that’s been addressed in your household before, where should you start?
ENSURE THEY KNOW THE WIDER CONTEXT
SADLY school history classes don’t always cover it. “Teach them about the history of racial oppression and how racism is bigger than people having stereotypes or prejudices – it is about a system of power and is built into our laws, institutions, policies, and so forth,” says Margaret Hagerman, a professor in sociology at Mississippi State University and author of White Kids: Growing Up With Privilege in a Racially Divided America.
“This might mean parents need to do some learning in this area, and families can do this learning together.”
DON’T TEACH THEM TO ‘IGNORE DIFFERENCES’
ONE idea you might hear is someone saying they ‘don’t see colour’ – while this might be well meaning, it actually contributes to racial bias. “Teach them how race matters in society and that being ‘colour blind’ ignores this reality,” says Margaret.
Young children tend to be aware of visible differences between themselves and their friends, but
don’t naturally discriminate – so use this in a positive way to impart anti-racist values early.
“Equality is not about pretending we don’t notice differences, but instead being aware that our differences can create barriers and working to overcome these,” says Jake Higgin, an education worker at Show Racism the Red Card (theredcard.org).
The charity works in schools and has developed a ‘home school activity worksheet’ available on its website (£20), parents can use at home. The ‘three faces’ activity asks children to look at young people with different appearances, and guess their name, nationality and religion – leading to a discussion around skin colour, identity and nationality. “It can be used as a powerful way to get young people to think about the judgements we make about others,” says Jake.
START YOUNG ON THE ISSUE OF WHITE PRIVILEGE
“THE majority of people who find the idea of white privilege problematic or challenging, simply don’t understand it,” says Jake.
“White privilege doesn’t discount the achievements of individual white people, nor does it suggest that every single white person has what we might consider to be a ‘privileged’ life. It simply acknowledges the idea that, even in 2020, one of the biggest ways somebody can be advantaged or disadvantaged, is the colour of their skin.”
It’s never too early to teach children about their own white privilege, he says. “When we talk to young people about the ways in which they are ‘lucky’, we are discussing the advantages they might have over others in life.
“By getting children to think about how others might benefit, or be held back, by the conditions of their birth, we will help them develop critical thinking and empathy skills.”
MAKE IT A SAFE SPACE
DON’T just talk, make sure you listen too. “The white kids in my research had a lot of questions about race that they told me they didn’t think they could ask their parents,” says Margaret.