BIG IN A WIG

Just May

What were your rejected drag names?

I’m a simple kinda gal, it was May… then one day I thought, why not have the shittest name in town, and became Just May.

Describe yourself in three emojis.

Describe your drag style in fi ve words.

Ginger Spice gone off ( kinda).

What keeps you awake at night?

Waiting for the day that I get a restraining order from Geri Horner.

What’s the worst thing someone could say to you in bed?

“Can you keep the tits on.”

How would ( or does) your Grindr profi le read?

“I’ll always keep the tits on.”

Biggest turn- on?

Somebody who knows the inner workings of the EastEnders storylines.

And turn- off ?

Anyone that watches Corrie.

What is your safe word?

Dot Cotton.

What’s your best sexual position?

Watching the TV.

If you could be any inanimate object in the world, what would you be and why?

A remote control, because I have all the buttons you can push.

What’s your spirit animal?

Lily Savage’s dead dog Buster… he always stole the show.

What is your biggest vice?

Bad Spice Girls memorabilia.

You’ve started a cult. What is it about?

I think I already did… who else do you think convinced the Spice Girls to do the 2019 reunion?

You’re dead ( sorry). What does the epitaph on your gravestone read?

She died as she lived… on her back.

And what were your famous last words?

The Spanish rap from Mi Chico Latino.

What does your heaven look like?

Lisa Scott- Lee’s greatest hits on repeat and a streaming service just for EastEnders. June Brown is chain- smoking on the gates as you go in.

If you were reborn as any famous person, past or present, who would it be?

Now, you’d think I’d say Geri, but no. I’d be Dolly Parton, she’s the queen of branding, and I’m all about that!

What would your super power be?

Speed. Get everything done in the blink of an eye. A lot of men I slept with had that power.

You can travel back in time. Where do you travel to?

February 1997, and be front and centre for the moment the Union Jack dress happened.

You’ve been abducted by aliens. What’s your parting message to Earth?

“DELETE MY INTERNET HISTORY.”

What cocktail best describes you?

A Bloody Mary, because I taste great at a Saturday- morning brunch.

When was the last time you served someone their just desserts?

It was Tuesday, and I served an Iced Slice from Percy Ingle’s [ bakery].

The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Discuss.

I’ve found that the best way to a man’s heart is actually to dress as a ’ 90s icon with a clown- like edge. That gets all the boys.

Who would your dream dinner guest be?

Nigella, I like a challenge, but I’d probably just get her a KFC. Everyone deserves a treat!

“The best way to a man’s heart is to dress as a ’ 90s icon with a clown- like edge”