FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

Get lost in the wilderness with Soviet stallion Alexander Abramov

Go into the wild with Soviet stallion Alexander Abramov

Artist and model Alexander Abramov was born and raised in Kazakhstan, which was once part of the USSR, before moving to Moscow, where he worked on one of Russian TV’s top makeover reality shows. Over five years, despite his youth, he worked his way up to executive producer. Now he lives in New York City and is releasing an app for Instagram in November as well as working on the fifth book in his Uncovered series, which comes out next year. Here, Alexander, 33, discusses gay life in Kazakhstan, defying doctor’s orders to become a modern-day Hercules, and camping it up for the Insta likes.

Were you very active in your youth?

Not really. Despite the fact my mum was the equivalent of a collegiate division 1 basketball player and my father was a professional football player, I wasn’t attracted to any sport in school and sometimes would even fake sickness so I could avoid

PE. Then, when I was 15, I had a very rare congenital anomaly of the gastrointestinal tract called Meckel’s diverticulum. I won’t go into details and the operation process, but I clearly remember that the surgeon removed 1.5 metres of my intestine. After the first post-op examination, the doctor smiled at me kindly and said: “Alexander, we saved your life, but it won’t be like everyone else’s life.” I then spent almost two months in the intensive care unit, after which I had to learn to walk again. After that, I spent 20 days in general recovery. After removing 15 stitches from my stomach, the doctor then explained to me the seriousness of the situation,

“Guys I wanted to fuck didn’t notice me at all”

talking about a special diet I would need to adhere to for the rest of my life, coupled with the fact that I should avoid any exertion, as this could only shorten my life. To cut a long story short, I didn’t follow any such diet or avoid physical activity — as you can see.

When and why did you decide to bulk up?

I started to go to the gym at the end of 2007. The reason I started working out is kind of funny for me now, but

I’m sure a lot of gay guys can relate to it: my motivation for transforming my body was being turned down by guys I wanted to fuck. They didn’t notice me at all. I can’t say I didn’t have enough lovers, but I’m not used to being rejected. After spending three years in the gym, my “fuck list” was 100 per cent checked off. For a lot of guys, my motivation might sound dirty, selfish and shallow, but let’s be honest, the gay world is mostly all

about physical representation and how you look, and only after that do guys care about who you are as a person. I really love to exercise and I do it firstly for myself, and secondly, to look good for my boyfriend. I’m no longer wanting to impress others, but I’m always happy to receive kind messages through social media, when guys around the world tell me that I inspired them to start working out.

How long did it take to get to the size you are today?

Almost 13 years. I was 187cm and 65kg when I started and now my weight is around 105kg. It has been a long journey and has required a lot of discipline. I usually exercise at least four or five times a week and I do it consistently. I stopped building muscle a couple of years ago. I’m not a gym freak — no offence to anyone who loves to work out more than

I do — I’m just trying to keep my current body proportions and my muscles toned.

Did people start treating you differently after you put on the muscle?

I don’t want to say they started treating me differently; it was more that I started getting a lot more attention from them than ever before. But I was also shamed multiple times on social media for being too masculine, too muscular, suggestions that I used steroids, and so on. That snarkiness comes when we put ourselves out there on social media, but I have a very thick skin.

Your partner is also quite a big guy. Is working out together a foundation of your relationship?

The foundation of my relationship with Brett is definitely not based on working out together or the size of his muscles — even though I can’t lie: I like his size a lot. We tried to work out together at the beginning of our relationship, but we have different methods of training, and even though we are both big guys, we have different body types. I’m more old-school and do classic bodybuilding exercises with barbells, while Brett prefers working out with dumbbells and super-setting.

Do you exercise much outside the weights room?

I do cardio, but in the form of cycling around the city. At 187cm and having

“Take care of your body like it is a machine”

an ectomorph body type, I have a very fast metabolism, so I must keep cardio to a minimum and my protein consumption high.

What is the key to staying motivated to keep fit?

There is no single motivation that works for all, although everyone should aim to be the best version of themselves. Whether you want to be muscular, or lean and toned, take care of your body like it is a machine. For me, exercise is already an integral part of my life. I usually start my morning with a workout and it energizes me for the entire day.

How has COVID-19 affected your fitness regime?

A lot. As of now, my last workout in the gym was on 16 March. Since then, my boyfriend and I have been working out on our terrace with light dumbbells and

bands. I can’t wait to get back to the gym, and we’re hoping it will happen soon.

And your diet?

I put some weight on in the spring, as I have a major sweet tooth, but once the warmer months arrived, I went outside and got active.

From first impressions, you are a rugged, masculine guy, but your Instagram feed shows you in a rainbow tutu, beauty masks and you and your partner dressed as female Sailor Moon anime characters. Do you think toxic masculinity is a problem in the gay community?

I think being gay is a blessing, I embrace it to the fullest and accept myself 100 per cent — whether I’m donning a tutu and heels, doing drag at DragCon with some of my favourite queens, or in full leathers à la Tom of Finland.

Toxic masculinity does exist in the gay community, sure, but I don’t think it is nearly as evident or as problematic as it is in the heterosexual community. What baffles and frankly disheartens me is that the LGBTQ+ community is so divided and non-inclusive and non-accepting of one another. Of course, there are exceptions to this statement. We should all embrace, accept and support one another, regardless of age and where we fall in our diverse rainbow spectrum. I wish there was more inclusivity between all of us, not just once a year when we are out celebrating gay Pride en masse.

A lot of people would look at your Instagram and see physical perfection, but do you still have hangups about your appearance?

I will always see myself as rail-thin skinny Alexander, but I recognise and appreciate that I’m viewed differently than I see myself in the mirror. I’m incredibly humbled and thankful when men of all ages from the States and all over the world come up to me and introduce themselves, with kind, heartfelt words about how they have been following me on Instagram over the years or reading my Uncovered books, or about Brett and I inspiring them as a couple.

I happily engage with them and I feel so lucky to have met them.

What was it like to grow up in Kazakhstan?

As a gay man? I don’t want to say I had a tough time. Compared to the present, nobody paid attention to gay people, but of course nobody was screaming about their sexuality on the streets. My hometown is a pretty small city and once you get to know someone, you get invited to private home parties — not sex parties. Also, there was a very small restaurant which hosted secret dance parties once a month and, of course, you had to be known by someone to get on the guest list.

Did you come out while you lived there or when you lived in Moscow?

I came out when I was 15 to a couple of my close friends, and they were very supportive and kind of happy that they now had a gay friend. I came out to my mum when I was 16. I don’t

want to say she was happy with that, but over the years, she has accepted me for who I am and, besides being my mum, she is also my best friend. I came out publicly in Moscow when I was 25. It didn’t affect my life at all; a lot of my friends already knew who I was and other people didn’t really care about my sexuality.

What is life like for LGBTQ people in Kazakhstan and Moscow?

There are definitely two different sides of life for LGBTQ+ people. As I said, if you are not screaming about your sexuality on the street, you can live a pretty good life. I know a lot of people who came out to their families, friends and even to co-workers and they weren’t rejected by them, but they’re probably the exceptions.

I think that 60-70 per cent of gay men in Russia — and this number is definitely higher in Kazakhstan — are closeted and will never come out. Most of them struggle even with accepting themselves, particularly because of societal pressures where they live. A very small percentage have the courage and opportunity to leave the country so they can live life open and proud.

In Almaty and Astana, the biggest cities in Kazakhstan, as in Moscow and Saint Petersburg, there are gay clubs, parties, bars, saunas and other places where LGBTQ+ people can live their safest and best life. But of course it is not the life you might live in the USA or Europe. You can easily get beaten up on the street if you look gay or say that you are. Also, as you may already know, the Russian government tries to make life harder for gays; no holding hands in public, no kissing in public, and so on. The “gay propaganda” law is essentially to show kids that same-sex coupling is “not normal”. Levels of homophobia are definitely much higher than in the States.

“Sixty per cent of gay men in Russia will never come out”

When and why did you move to New York?

My ex-husband and I moved to NYC in May 2015. We had a dream and we decided to make it come true. It was a really big step for both of us and it was very hard starting a new life literally from the beginning. NYC broke us, but we remain incredibly close friends and we have no regrets.

When did you decide to produce Uncovered, your series of books?

It was May 2017, and for the first time since I moved to New York in 2015, I got the strong desire to create again. After two very tough years, which involved moving to the US without telling my family, adapting to a totally new life, learning a new language (I didn’t speak any English when I moved to NYC), the stressful process of applying for political asylum and waiting for official papers from the US government, I was also desperately trying to find a job in my field of interest and expertise. This involved odd interviews where my strong résumé meant nothing because it was all from my time in Moscow. Being the executive producer of the top-rated reality show on the major network in Russia for five years meant absolutely nothing here. It was exhausting trying to prove my employability in broken English to strangers, especially in a business that is so relationship-driven.

I quickly learned I had no one to rely on and that my skills could, at best, get me a position of a volunteer

assistant on a film set, so I decided it was time to tackle life head-on. I had three motivations: first was my love and passion for photography, which I took up in 2008; second was my desire to share stories from my life that I thought a lot of people — especially in the LGBTQ+ community — might identify with and would find interesting and inspiring; and lastly, I wanted to create, something I have loved to do my entire life.

Apart from images of you, what will people discover in the books?

In each book I share some entries from my diary, which goes back as far as 2000. I have also added some commentary and present-day perspective to help explain what the younger version of me wrote. The first book contains stories about my experiences, emotions, feelings and first sexual encounters, as well as awareness of my homosexuality.

In the second book, I speak more about situations in my life that made me make difficult decisions. These situations changed me, brought me to my knees and knocked me to the ground, but also revived me and restored my belief in myself, in life and in love.

In the third volume, I shared my work experience, which has taken up more than half of my life. Also there are stories about the work I do every day on myself, for my soul and body, on my attitude to the world and people. Without such work, in my opinion, you can’t have a strong, stable relationship with a loved one and it is difficult to have true friendships.

In the fourth book, there are notes about loneliness and solitude and how I balance the two in my life.

Do you plan to release another book in the series?

I do have a fifth book, which I’m planning to release sometime next year. As an author, producer and stylist, I promise you it’s going to be another beautiful photo story of a seafarer, shot by my talented and dear friend Dmitry Bocharov, who photographed the whole Uncovered series [and this photoshoot]. Just the two of us shot all five books all over California without any crew. As captain of my own ship, since 2001 I’ve visited more than 20 countries; in the past five years, I’ve explored 11 states and 17 cities in the USA, and in the past decade I twice changed my country of residence. Let’s say I was “sailing” a lot and each stop in each “port” gave me unforgettable memories and experiences which I’m going to share as I did in the first four books.