Steve Cropley
Our world renowned team of road testers go further than anyone else to give you the ultimate car review. We pride ourselves on producing the most complete, objective test in the business so you feel as informed as you would if you were driving the car you
Turned off by Nürburgring records
MONDAY
Mercedes won’t be celebrating. It’s 20 years this month since the then-new Mercedes A-class failed the infamous ‘elk test’ set up for Car of the Year by various Scandowegian car magazines, and was dramatically pictured falling onto its side in a picture that made the front page of practically every newspaper (below).
I remember how shocked we all were that Mercedes, of all people, could have produced a car susceptible to such instability – until I saw the lengths to which the test drivers went, adding lock so quickly and violently. No ordinary driver could pull it off without the requisite Swedish training and forearms like hydraulic rams.
Still, it’s a measure of how seriously Mercedes (and everyone else) took the problem that such instability has never raised its head since – except very soon after, in the original Smart City Coupe – even though we’ve moved into an era of wall-to-wall tall cars. The problems never mattered to this buyer, though; our family subsequently owned (improved) versions of both Smart and A-class, and we never gave it a thought.
TUESDAY
Do you really care that the Alfa Romeo Stelvio has just set the fastest time for an SUV around the Nürburgring? (It beat a Land Rover – big deal!) I have to admit my back nowadays goes up whenever some manufacturer takes to the airwaves with a ’Ring-based claim as irrelevant as this one, for two reasons. First, the conditions (wind, weather, atmospheric pressure, track temperature, tyre spec, driver ability, aero preparation) are so extremely variable that I’ll swear equal cars’ times can vary by half a minute, just because of differing circumstances.
Far more importantly, I get the powerful feeling that without these seemingly irresistible demands of the ’Ring, car manufacturers would make their cars a good deal better-riding and quieter, because tyres wouldn’t have to be so lowprofile or so wide, and suspension bushes would be allowed to do a better job of isolation. A quiet, great-riding car is something you can appreciate constantly – over 99% of its driving envelope – whereas I’d say ’Ring readiness matters perhaps 1% of the time. Or, more likely, never.
WEDNESDAY
Wandering back from the Midlands in our Audi S5 convertible, I dropped into Oxford services and spotted the longest line of Tesla superchargers I’ve yet seen. There were six plus another eight being brought to readiness nearby. A trio of Tesla owners was happily hooked up: the scene gave me my first decent view of how an Ev-heavy car parc can work in future. I now see cars ranked neatly with enough fast chargers available to prevent the (increasingly familiar) charging point rage. Cutting ‘trickle’ time and increasing numbers is clearly the answer.
My sympathy for Honda is growing because it seems to be making progress in F1
FRIDAY
Another journalistic gamble. This is written two days before the Malaysian GP is decided, as news arrives that Fernando Alonso has turned in fast laps in his Mclaren-honda in the first two free practice sessions. The engine worked so well, the web feed says, that the team’s race director, Eric Boullier, was able to use the unfamiliar words “a very satisfying day”.
Have to say my sympathy for Honda is growing because it seems to me to be making dogged progress towards its avowed aim of propelling the third-fastest team of the 2018 season, whatever it is. You’ll know by now how Alonso has fared on raceday. Please, not another DNF, and a top 10 finish…