Cafe smoking ban is right out of order

Time to rethink crazy council law

As I put pen to paper this week, the Prime Minister appears to be a spot of Brexit bother and may be forced to step down. But hey, it’s just politics folks - and nothing to worry about.

One minute we’ve got David Cameron who wants us to stay in Europe and says bad things will happen if we leave.

He had to resign.

The next we’ve got Theresa May who wants us to leave Europe and says bad things will happen if we stay in.

And now she may have to resign. It’s a kind of Hokey Cokey for grown-ups.

You keep the UK in, take the UK out, keep the UK in and you shake it all about!

It’s all a long way from the European dream we were sold back in 1973 by Edward Heath. And yes, he had to resign too – in 1974.

I was just nineteen at the time and joining the EEC was going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread .

. . except it would now be called a baguette!

We’d already had decimalisation in 1971 and it was to be the forerunner of a single currency, border-free Europe.

From Bologna to Barra – we’d be one big happy family.

The way Ted sold it, we’d all embrace each other’s cultures – Safeway would have an aisle just for frog’s legs and the Germans would be tucking into a new delicacy called Haggiswurst.

Promises of a rail link under the Channel meant we’d be able to take a train from Troon to Toulouse.

And that would bring the freedom to work anywhere.

I could go to my local pub and try my luck with the Belgian beauty behind the bar – or the three Dutch girls at the window . . . and sip an Italian birra while I made up my mind.

Yes – we would embrace the European way with bars on the beach, tables in the street and a glass of Badoit before dinner. Touts alors! That was 45 years ago.

But instead of getting ready for the Golden Wedding of our glorious union, we’re heading for the European divorce court.

Rather than embrace European culture – we’ve disowned it.

And along the way we seem to have learned nothing from our continental cousins.

Bars on beaches – are you kidding? On our shores, a couple can’t even pop a picnic prosecco without risking arrest.

Tables on streets?

Well, only if you get a special licence – and only if your customers don’t smoke.

The crazy case of Newmarket Street cafe owners Nino and Karen Pajovic is a textbook example of a law that’s out of place, out of date and out of order.

Their business is called Cafe Le Monde – but you have to ask where else in the world would countenance such utter stupidity?

Goodness knows what Nino must make of his adopted homeland.

A Serbian, his country has been trying to join the EU for decades.

They’ll throw the party to end all parties when they’re eventually accepted, probably around 2024.

We’ll still be debating whether we want a hard Brexit, a medium Brexit or just a soft boiled Brexit with bread soldiers on the side!

And it will probably be another 2024 years before we take a truly tolerant European-style stance on the subjects of alcohol and tobacco.

As long as they both exist – people will want to use them.

And the only way to stop “use” becoming “abuse” is through education – not sanction.

I’m told South Ayrshire Council is to rethink the whole Cafe Le Monde issue.

Cpetho Nino!