Ayrshire Post

Time to eat my way round world

And it saves Mrs Bob’s yucky broccoli

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I began to lose track around weeks four and five . . . or maybe it was five and six? . . . but I think I’m getting the hang of counting the weeks now.

On the down side . . . it’s now the days of the week that I’m struggling with!

They all just seem to run into each other.

And I now wake up every morning thinking that today is the tomorrow I was looking forward to yesterday.

Back in the day, keeping track was a lot simpler.

If you were lying in bed and started hearing bells – you could pretty much put that one down to being a Sunday!

Monday was pub quiz, Tuesday was our live music afternoon . . . and the rest of the week just kind of fell into place.

The days of the week had, well, . .. you know . . . some kind of natural order -

But not any more. Tuesdays could easily be a Friday – Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays might as well be a Sunday.

The only days that stick out are a Thursday - when we all go out to the doorstep and give the NHS a well deserved cheer.

Then you go back inside and say: “Was that another Thursday already?”

Which is exactly what you said the previous Thursday . . and the Thursday before that!

Is it just me – or are we all going bonkers?

Mrs Bob has now inadverten­tly shed some light on the days of the week dilemma by introducin­g . . . the dinner diary!

Gone are the glory days of just tucking into whatever you fancy.

In a genuinely responsibl­e attempt to stay safe and keep shopping trips to an absolute minimum – she now plots and schemes our meals in advance.

“If we buy a bag of broccoli on a Sunday – we should plan broccoli on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday so none goes to waste,” she says.

Being a man who enjoys the tantalisin­g suspense of never knowing your meals in advance – this is bad karma.

And - a total aversion to broccoli doesn’t help either!

“How about we just don’t buy any broccoli at all – and I guarantee that none will go to waste . . .? is my counter argument.

But this only leads to a situation that endorses and corroborat­es my long held theory that Mrs Bob doesn’t have real ears – but clever imitations that have been painted on the side of her head!

It’s a lose/ lose situation.

If I get involved in her foodie forward planning, my co- operation implies some kind of tacit approval.

And if I don’t get involved – God knows what I’m going to have stuffed down me for the next seven nights!

This week however, I came up with what might reasonably be called a culinary masterstro­ke.

Given the probabilit­y that we are not going abroad on holiday this summer – I suggested we should devote a week to eating the food we would choose if we WERE on holiday.

And holy guacamole! Mrs Bob loved it!

Half an hour and half a dozen cook books later – the weekly menu was filling up nicely.

A Morrocan lamb tagine, a creamy Italian carbonara, a Greek moussaka, a cassoulet straight from any Carcassonn­e bistro and my regular favourite – some albondigas – the famous Spanish tapas meatball!

Suddenly, I was on the ball here . . . and decided to run with it . . .

“Er . . . how about I get all the wines from all the countries that would match this food . . . ?” I ventured tentativel­y.

“Great idea!” said Mrs Bob.

I mean – who IS this Wonder Woman?

And next Friday – sorry Fajita Day – I’m going to unveil my meal plan for the next seven days – it’s Alternativ­e Guest Chef Week, using one of their recipes. On Monday I’ll be Rick Stein – Wednesday, Gino D’Acampo and then Keith Floyd on Friday! Slurp!

I’m hoping Mrs Bob will fill the gaps and maybe go Barefoot Contessa on Tuesday, Pioneer Woman on Thursday and perhaps a pinch of Delia on

Saturday. Yummo! I tell you – things are starting to look up on this lockdown!

Anyone know how many eggs to put in Tarte St. Honore?

 ??  ?? Going nuts I contemplat­e a tasty Saudi madfoon - lamb, roasted nuts, raisins and served over rice
Going nuts I contemplat­e a tasty Saudi madfoon - lamb, roasted nuts, raisins and served over rice

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