Chaos in all of our classrooms
The word ‘normal’ used to be a fairly simple concept – there weren’t many adjectives or adverbs you could justifiably sit in front of it.
But then again, that was the ‘old’ normal . . . or maybe we should call it the ‘normal’ normal.
This weekend, I glanced through the newspapers and was shocked to discover an abnormally high amount of ‘normals’ – and most of them, you would never normally associate with ‘normal’ at all! On top of the ubiquitous “new normal” – we now have the “projected normal”, the “acceptable normal”, the “preferred normal” and the “achievable normal”. Then, you have to factor in the probability that every ‘normal’ in Scotland will be different than all the English ‘normals’.
The US military have a wonderfully rude expression for this kind of situation – they call it a ‘SNAFU’.
And it stands for ‘Situation Normal – All Fuddled Up’ . . . except the soldiers don’t use the word ‘fuddled’!
The very mention of a ‘SNAFU’ would normally lead me to the latest goings on at South Ayrshire Council. So . . . why should this week be any different?
I’ve been inundated with messages from local parents who have just received notification of their child’s “new normal” school hours from August 11. None of their emails include the word “SNAFU” – but the overall impression is that they are pretty fuddled off!
“I was upset when I heard the best the school could offer my son was attendance two days a week,” wrote one mother. “But given the circumstances, I was prepared to go with the flow.
“Now I’ve received a letter saying he’ll be attending just one and a half days! He’s at school from 9.00 to 3.00 for one day – and 9.00 to 11.30 on the other.”
With breaks, that will work out at “face to face” education of barely seven hours per week.
“Given the schooling he’s already missed – that’s unacceptable.”
Other e-mails I’ve received state more of the same . . . with some parents worried they’ll have to give up their jobs to mind their wee ones!
South Ayrshire Council says it is doing its best under difficult circumstances – and every school has different restrictions and requirements.
I’m sure every parent would accept that. The bit I’m finding hard to accept is the “educational recovery survey” which, according to SAC, received a response from 7412 parents.
How many of those 7412 put their hands up to accept a SIX hour school week for their child? Answers on a postcard please! Not helping anyone’s situation – and that includes SAC – is the continued fuddling about at Nicola level.
Last week we had the bizarre situation of Boris throwing £1 billion at trying to sort out the SNAFU in England’s schools. Then, two minutes later, Northern Ireland announced how it should have been done. Instead of adding an extra £1 billion – their solution was reducing one metre! By dropping the “normal” two metres distancing to a new “flexible normal” of just one – their schools are guaranteed to be open the “old normal” hours of five days a week! “Doh!”
In Cardiff, Holyrood and Downing Street, you could almost hear the sound of “Why didn’t we think of that?” echoing through the ministerial corridors.
Of course, Nicola and dear old Boris WILL think of that . . . eventually.
But they’ll have to wait a suitable period of time to not be accused of riding on Northern Ireland’s coat tails. As one teacher told me “We’re spending valuable time and money preparing for two metres in our classrooms come August.
“If Ms Sturgeon wants to do the right thing for education in Scotland, she needs to drop a metre – and drop it now!
“We’re talking about young children here. If the pencil pushers in Edinburgh think social distancing in primary schools is remotely achievable – they are off their fuddling heads”.
Ooh! Well put, sir! Whatever type of ‘normal’ lies ahead – the normal arithmetic still applies Children + School = adults getting back to work and the economy getting back on track.
And anything else is just a SNAFU!
With breaks, that will workout at face to face education for barely seven hours per week