BRUTAL TRUTH
Six women murdered by men in Ayrshire over the past three years
These are the faces of women murdered at the hands of men across Ayrshire in the past three years.
Six women with so much to live for were taken in the most terrible way by men who were either their partners, related or friends.
The lives of Emma Faulds, Kirsty Robertson, Ann McLean, Alexis Flynn, Emma Robertson Coupland and Nicole Anderson were cruelly cut short – leaving behind devastated loved ones.
Emma Faulds and Kirsty’s evil killers were convicted at the High Court in Glasgow on the same day – Tuesday, May 25.
Women’s Aid in East and South Ayrshire have come together to urge those experiencing a domestic abusive relationship or friendship to seek help – and for others to recognise the signs to potentially save a life.
Karen Gardner, manager at East Ayrshire Women’s Aid, said: “It is so important that we never forget the loss of these beautiful young women who had so much to live for. If women tell us they fear for their lives, we must believe them.”
These are the faces of women murdered at the hands of men across Ayrshire in the past three years.
Six women with so much to live for were taken in the most terrible way by men who were either their partners, related or friends.
The lives of Emma Faulds, Kirsty Robertson, Ann McLean, Alexis Flynn, Emma Robertson Coupland and Nicole Anderson were cruelly cut short – leaving behind devastated loved ones.
In the cases of Kilmarnock woman Emma Faulds and Ayr mum Kirsty, they were both – juries at the High Court in Glasgow concluded – murdered by men they considered to be friends in 2019.
Both of their killers were convicted within hours of each other on the same day – Tuesday, May 25.
Meanwhile, Nicole was attacked earlier this year in Kilmarnock town centre by her step-dad minutes after he had killed her mum Emma Robertson Coupland outside Crosshouse Hospital.
Alexis and Ann were tragically taken by partners at their homes in Kilmarnock and Ayr respectively in 2018.
Karen Gardner, manager at East Ayrshire Women’s Aid (EAWA), said: “Like everyone in Ayrshire, we were shocked and heartbroken by the murders.
“The devastating impact upon their family and friends is hard to imagine. It is so important that we never forget the loss of these beautiful young women who had so much to live for.”
Now Women’s Aid branches in East and South Ayrshire have come together to urge those experiencing a domestic abusive relationship or friendship to seek help – and for others to recognise the signs to potentially save a life.
Across the UK, a woman is killed by a current or former partner every four days.
Karen added: “If women tell us they fear for their lives, we must believe them. Whoever we are, we should look out for signs of controlling behaviour and take it seriously if it is happening to us or someone we know.”
Shirley Middleditch, interim manager at South Ayrshire Women’s Aid (SAWA), said the murders have been “horrendous”.
She added: “I just think if they had been able to seek the correct support it might not have got to that stage.
“They might not have recognised exactly what they were living with.”
Speaking generally about the situation some women face, Shirley added: “When you break up from an abusive partner, you kind of expect that to be it over.
“But then there’s stalking behaviour afterwards which can eventually lead to a woman’s murder, which is really sad.”
Sarah Millar, training worker at SAWA, seconded the view regarding stalking and highlighted that some relationships aren’t physical until the very end, which can be fatal.
She said: “They’re at higher risk of serious harm or murder 18 months after they leave an abusive relationship.
“When you look at statistics or any headline, the majority of the time you’ll see it’s an ex-partner.”
The murders of Emma Faulds, Kirsty and Nicole show relationships with the men may not necessarily be romantic or sexual for them to end in tragedy.
Shirley added: “If someone was experiencing an abusive friendship then we can still support them and signpost them to other services if that’s what is required.
“We’ve worked with women in the past when it’s been neighbours. What we always do is believe women and validate their experience.
“That’s really important that when they’ve come to that point that they need to talk to somebody that they’re believed.”
SAWA and EAWA are keen to highlight their training programmes which they can offer to businesses and organisations who are in contact with women.
Karen, of EAWA, said: “We offer training to local agencies and organisations to help them understand domestic abuse and how to respond to it safely.
“We also do lots of awareness raising events and sessions, particularly with young people, looking at how abuse in relationships can happen and some of the warning signs they should look out for.”
SAWA’s programme started with training those within the hair and beauty industry to spot the signs of domestic abuse and safely signpost.
And one positive of COVID-19 restrictions has been single appointments, offering “a small window where you can open a conversation”, said Sarah.
She told of a case in England
in 2017 where a young woman spoke to her hairdresser about her partner and how she was fearful of her life.
Sarah explained: “The hairdresser was absolutely blindsided; had no idea how to react in that situation, what to do or how to question – because ultimately that could’ve saved that girl’s life and unfortunately she was murdered by her partner.
“Believe it or not, research has shown women don’t actually mind being asked about domestic abuse.
“All we need is people just to demonstrate a small amount of knowledge to build that relationship.
“They might not disclose instantly but you never know when, three weeks down the line, and you speak to that person again.
“There’s tool kits that we can give them [businesses] that can help; whether that’s a poster on the back of a toilet door in their organisation or a leaflet in a waiting room.
“We’re funded to do that so it makes sense to have these working relationships and building these bridges with organisations because it’s key for everybody.
“With restrictions easing and things going back to what normal potentially could look like, it’s important that there’s more and more people being made aware of domestic abuse and different types of it.”
Karen said the introduction and rolling out of the coercive control law in Scotland in 2018/2019 was a “real breakthrough” to “recognise the full range of behaviours that are used to abuse and control women and criminalising psychological abuse.”
The question remains, however, as to what communities and society can do to prevent more women dying at the hands of men.
“Making time to listen to someone, believing what they say and telling them what is happening is not okay can bring them hope and make them feel less isolated,” said Karen.
“Finding out more about domestic abuse and how services like Women’s Aid can help is something each one of us can do to help women get the support they need.”
Shirley added: “It’s raising awareness so future women who are in that kind of relationship know where to go to get help and report to the police.”
Sarah added: “The most important thing now is to raise awareness and talk about it ; making people aware that Women’s Aid are here to support.”
To join SAWA’s training programme to help spot the signs of domestic abuse and signpost safely, email: sarah.millar@sawamail.org.uk or for East Ayrshire, email: judy.ferguson@eastayrshirewomensaid.org.uk
If you have been affected by anything in this article, help is available 24/7 from Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline 0800 027 1234; from www. southayrshirewomensaid.org. uk; (01292) 266482 and www. eastayrshirewomensaid.org.uk
Please speak out.