Tips on how to deal with some of the trickiest moments you might face as a new father
DADS often do things differently to mums, but their role shouldn’t be underestimated.
That’s the Father’s Day message from dad and author Rob Kemp, who says: “Dads are different. The way we play with our kids, the influences we have, and the bonds we form differ greatly from the way mums do things.
“But never underestimate your influence upon your child and your role as a father – especially in the first years of their life.”
Father-of-one Rob, author of fatherhood books including the Expectant Dad’s Survival Guide and the newly-published Dadding It!, identifies some landmark moments for dads, and suggests how to deal with them...
1. FIRST PUBLIC NAPPY CHANGE
SOME expectant parents live in fear of that first nappy change, but the fear is worse than the act itself. Cover the surrounding area with an old towel, then:
Keep your head back: removing a baby’s nappy and exposing their nether regions to cooler air can trip their personal sprinkler system. Change your baby on a flat, stable surface, ideally with a changing mat. Keep your tools to hand: like a surgeon about to perform an intricate operation, you need to surround yourself with the tools (baby wipes, disposal bags, etc.). Keep them clean: clean and dry your baby thoroughly and apply any creams you’re using before putting on the fresh nappy.
2. TODDLER TANTRUMS
WHEN your kid first kicks off a tantrum it can be an unnerving experience.
On the whole, tantrums are born out of frustration. He or she wants to communicate something but hasn’t yet developed the language. When tantrums do happen, or look like they’re about to, tactics dads have employed include:
Give a warning: prepare them for a transition to prevent a meltdown. When it’s time to let another kid go on the Noddy car, let them know they have one more minute, or a last go. Change the setting: try removing them from the immediate vicinity.
Wait until they’ve stopped bawling, then explain calmly – why their behaviour isn’t acceptable.
Give choices: ‘What do you want to put on first – shoes or hat?‘ Tantrums are also a by-product of them wanting to be more independent.
3. DAD’S FIRST DAY AT THE SCHOOL:
DROPPING off and picking up your child at school can seem intimidating but there are a few things you should know as a new school dad...
You can’t just leave: lunchbox, book bag, games kit, homework diary, slip to confirm attendance at school trip/after-school club/ parents’ evening ... Check!
Dads don’t talk: it will take a school social event, a nod of acknowledgement during the dads’ race on sports day or a close bond between your kid and theirs before two dads will strike up a conversation.
Say ‘yes’: PTA member, school trip helper, sports team assistant, reading mentor, manning the tombola, or even parking warden – you’ll be asked to perform at least one of these duties if you’re a regular male face at the school gate.
Dadding It! Landmark Moments in Your Life as a Father... and How to Survive Them by Rob Kemp, is published by Bloomsbury, £12.99