I’m worried my daughter may be suffering from
QIAM worried about my daughter who is 12. She is a little overweight but not by much, and personally I think it is just a bit of puppy fat. She keeps saying she is ugly, overweight and needs to go on a diet. I am worried she might end up anorexic and I wish there was some way I could change her self-image. ACOLUMNIST
and trained counsellor Fiona Caine says: Sadly, social media and peer pressure are making youngsters aspire to unrealistic images that no one, in reality, can ever achieve. Most of the images they look at have been air-brushed into a “perfection” that makes them dissatisfied with their own appearances.
Around one in 100 young people aged 10-20 suffer from anorexia each year, so you are right to be concerned. If you can, encourage her to have a sense of achievement in her life, be it in her academic studies, sport, the arts or anything else.
It won’t necessarily prevent her having problems, but it will help her confidence and that may help her ignore some of the peer pressure she probably feels.
If you need more help, YoungMinds (youngminds. org.uk) has a useful section on eating disorders.
QALMOST 30 years ago, I found myself pregnant and on my own. I decided to give my baby girl up for adoption, as it seemed like the best thing to do for her at the time.
I’ve never stopped
wondering how she is, and I keep hoping she will contact me. Although that’s what I want, I’m still terrified, as I’ve not told my husband or my two children by him (25 and 22). Should I tell them – in case my daughter should reappear?
A
I AM sure it has been very hard for you to carry this secret for so long, but I feel you would be wise to talk to your family, if only to prepare them should your daughter decide she wants to see you.
I suggest you tell your husband first. I suspect he will be shocked and surprised that you’ve kept this secret for so long, but once he’s overcome that reaction, I would hope he could show you support.
Your children will naturally also be surprised – instead of just being ‘mum’, you will be someone with a past. They may be quite excited by the idea of an older sister.
When you are ready, do please add your details to the Adoption Contact Register at the General Register Office.
It’s the place to find a birth relative or an adopted person. It is also the place to register the fact that you don’t want to be contacted, if that’s what you decide.