Run your family like a business
An economics professor and mum-of-two explains to LISA SALMON how to manage the children as you would a company, by holding meetings and voicing conflict
PARENTING is a full-time job – and being successful at a job needs strategies which, believe it or not, can work just as well to run a family as they do to run a business.
Economics professor Emily Oster, a mother of two and pregnancy and parenting author, has combined all her skills and experience to write The Family Firm, to explain exactly how to manage your family just like a business manager.
“With school-age kids, your job as a parent suddenly begins to look a lot like you’re a logistical manager,” she says. “Families can do this better – with less chaos, with more happiness – if they embrace the challenge and start to run their family a bit more like a business.”
And this is how to do it...
Schedule meetings
When your family faces a big decision – which school a child should go to, whether they should get a phone – arrange meetings to talk through the decision the way you would at work.
“I’d recommend at least one meeting at the start to talk through the choices you have, and what information you need to decide,” suggests Emily.
“And then, once you’ve got that information, a meeting at the end to make a final decision.”
By putting these meetings on the schedule – either with just the adults, or with older children involved – you can make sure the decision is made thoughtfully but also efficiently, she explains.
Outline principles everyone can follow
Some family decisions occur every day – what’s an appropriate after-school snack, what time is bedtime?
“In a lot of families, the answer to these questions live in the brain of only one person,” says Emily.
“This is a problem – it asks too much of that one person, and also leaves the rest of the decision-makers in the family struggling to get it right.”
She says a better approach is to write down these principles or thoughts.
“Take them out of someone’s head and put them on paper – or, better yet, in a Google doc.
“This has the benefit of forcing everyone to agree on the priorities and once you’ve written them down, anyone can implement them, without even asking.”
Engage your kids
Emily says that in the family business your kids may be employees, or even board members.
“Either way, they should take their place as engaged decision-makers when it’s appropriate,” she says. “If you engage your kids in decisions, they’ll be more likely to listen to you – just like if you ask your employees what they think, they’ll be more engaged.”
She says it’s the parent’s job to figure out the options, but there’s no reason children can’t suggest what they want to do.
Such engagement can extend to responsibility, she points out, as children have a greater capacity than we sometimes give them credit for to do things on their own.
“There’s no reason your eightyear-old can’t get their own breakfast, or pack their own lunch, or remember their own socks,” says Emily. “Eventually, they’ll need to do all these things on their own, and small steps towards this type of independence can help them – and you.”
Bring conflict to the surface
At work, many disagreements are highlighted on purpose, and Emily explains: “When we’re making a big decision in our jobs, we sit down together to talk it through even though we know for big decisions these meetings can be contentious, even angry.
“A main reason for this is that if we surface our disagreements, we can make better decisions. And we’re likely to argue less if we expect to disagree, if we’re planning a discussion. You can take this lesson home.”
She gives an example of when one parent might want the kids to have